


Life on the Skull Ship

by JustAndrea



Series: The Awesome Redemption Arc [7]
Category: Wander Over Yonder (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabbles, Gen, Slice of Life, headcanons for other characters too probably, light Skeleton Dance/WanderxHater in the background, mention of nightmares/ptsd, post-s2, small references to my other WoY fics, some Awesome headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 20,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: The moments in-between all the training, and the moments that show that being a Watchdog private - as well as now being bros with a certain skeletal lord and nerdy commander - maybe isn't all that bad.





	1. Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy, long time no see for this arc! I'm sorry about the wait, I kinda got into Batman 66 for a while, heh... BUT, I'm back and i'm ready to finally finish this arc! So, coming up next is the big three-to-four chapter story that'll sort of act as the climax to the Awesome Arc. But, because that'll take some time to write and because I wanted to get back into practice of writing these characters (as well as just write a bunch of cute/fun scenes), I'm going to be working and posting on this drabble collection in the meantime! Just a bunch of moments that could fit in-between any of the previous Awesome Arc fics and that weren't quite long enough for their own fic.
> 
> I expect this to only be about ten drabbles, though if I get more ideas I'll certainly add to it, even if I've already finished the main arc. So yeah, enjoy! ^v^

**1\. Ice Cream**

“WHAAAAAAAT?!”

All eyes (literally) turned to stare at the table where their lord and the party emperor-turned-private sat, with the former looking at the latter in complete disbelief.

“Hater, dude, it’s not that big of a deal-” “Who doesn’t like ice cream?!” It was practically the greatest food in the Galaxy for crying out loud! “What’s wrong with you?!” Hater screamed.

Giving the skeleton a scowl of his own, Awesome replied with a simple shrug. “It’s just not for me, man.”

“But… But  _ who _ doesn’t like ice cream?!” Hater repeated, throwing his hands up in the air, “Not even fudgy pudgy vanilla? Come on, EVERYONE likes that one!” It was certainly his favorite flavor (both to eat and to drown his sorrows in whenever things went really wrong).

“Yeah well, not me!” Awesome snapped, glaring now, “So just drop it, kay bro?” With that, the private grabbed his tray and took off towards the trash cans. 

Hater scowled, crossing his arms. What a weirdo… An ice-cream hating weirdo! “For Grop’s sake, I hate practically everything and even I like ice cream!” So what was Awesome’s deal?

Fortunately for the former emperor, Hater’s short attention span was quickly focused on something else by the end of the day, and the issue was dropped. ...That is, until a few weeks later…

“Well Sir, I do believe we can call the Civil War of Deluvia 3 is completely over!” “And it’s about time! I can’t believe the biggest thing they were fighting over was who got to keep their stupid ancient stone.” “The Deluvias are very traditional, sir.”

“Not to mention appreciative!” Wander added, “That giant pillar you made right in the middle of the planet was amazing! And now, everyone there can see the stone no matter what side their on!”

Hater smiled a bit. “Yeah well, we had to do something with all those old statues of me... “ Though, at least the pillar still had his trademark lightning bolts on it.

“And I’m sure all the food and supplies you dropped off helped some too,” Sylvia reminded them, “I’d say that planet’s gonna be in good shape for a while.”

Peepers nodded, practically beaming at that. “Yes Sir, this can definitely be counted as a complete success! And, while I can’t say this all the time, perhaps after this the troops deserve a bit of a reward? Keep up morale? After all, they were the ones who kept the two sides from destroying each other before we reached a solution.”

Wander gasped. “Oooh, yeah! We can throw them a big congratulations and thank you party! With snacks and games and-!”

Peepers narrowed his eye at the word ‘party’, knowing exactly which one of his private’s would take that idea too far. “I was thinking something more along the lines of a special dessert in the food court.”

Hater’s horns perked up. “Dessert, huh?” Slowly, the skeletal lord grinned. “I know EXACTLY what to get!”

In less than a couple of hours, Wander had managed to gather what could easily be called an actual  _ mountain _ of ice cream - complete with several different toppings and sitting in a glass bowl with pictures of happy Watchdogs on it. And, unsurprisingly, the actual Watchdogs were VERY happy once they saw it..

However, while the others were in line for a bowl (being served up by Wander and Sylvia, of course), Awesome was satisfied standing away from the dessert, shimmying from side to side as he enjoyed the light tunes the nomads had put on. However, before he could start to really get into his groove, someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Heyyyyy, Awesome…”

“Oh, hey Hatey. S’up-?” As he turned to face the skeleton, a bowl of fudgy pudgy vanilla ice cream (with sprinkles) was practically shoved under his snout. “...Seriously, bro?” Awesome asked, giving him the flattest of looks. 

“How can you think ice cream is gross?!” Hater demanded, the bowl cracking slightly in his grip, though thankfully not breaking.

“I never said it was gross!” Awesome retorted, “I just-! Ugh, why the flarp do you even care so much?!”

“Because you’re WRONG!”

Awesome groaned again, rolling his eyes. Okay, you know what? Fine. He wasn’t afraid of some ice cream, and Hater wasn’t going to stop bugging him about it anyway so- “Whatevs. Just give it here,” he snapped, taking the bowl. 

As he took his first bite - small and slow, with barely anything even on the spoon - Hater smirked. “Ha! Knew it! There’s no way anyone could think ice cream was gross! So, what’s your REAL reason for not liking it? Are you on some dancer’s diet or muscle diet or something?”

“Again, never said it was gross,” Awesome repeated. He paused as the ice cream sat on his tongue, tasting it before swallowing. Admittedly, it was a good flavor. Feeling daring enough now, he ate another spoonful. “And nah, that ain’t it. Though, I do kind of watch my weight. Not that being big is a bad thing. Plenty of species have guts and are total hotties.” A certain Zbornak came to mind... He ate another spoonful, then another. “Mm, but for me personally, it would be kinda hard to do some of my sweet moves and keep up with the rhythm if I had too much weighin’ my legs dow-”

Just as he was about to eat another spoonful, he felt a stab of sharp pain so strong that he couldn’t help but let out a yelp of pain as he gripped his head. Everyone in the room turned to look at him. Hater blinked. “Awesome? Are you-? What’s wrong? Are you allergic or some-?” 

“What happened?” Peepers asked, suddenly over by the two of them. It didn’t look like a panic attack, but there was no way he was going to dismiss it until he was sure.

“I don’t know!” Hater told him, “He was just eating ice cream and-”

“GAUGH!” The two flinched as Awesome yelped again, gritting his teeth. “Ugh, f-flarpin’ BRAIN FREEZE!”

“Ohhhh.” Peepers nodded, his concern melting away as the rest of the room turned their attention back to their desserts. “That makes sense, actually.”

Hater however still looked confused. “Wait? ‘Brain freeze’? Brains can do that? But, but I eat all the time and my brain never freezes!”

Shooting him a glare, Awesome managed to reply, “N-Not everyone is warm-blooded, bro. ...Or, whatever the flarp you are. Sometimes even a little bit of cold can really  _ suck _ for us.”

“Ohhh… Huh. Never thought someone could be weak enough to be defeated by cold ice cream,” Hater mumbled.

Surprising absolutely no one, as soon as Awesome got over his ailment, a fight between the two of them broke out. Thankfully, no stray lightning bolts hit the ice cream mountain, though there was one unlucky Watchdog who held his spoon up at the wrong moment...


	2. Tapes

**2\. Tapes**

It had been a while since his last nightmare. A little over a month, maybe even two… So, maybe his mind was just making up for lost time.

Wiping the sweat off his face, Awesome swung his legs over the side of his leg. He needed a shot of Thunderblazz, or several shots, or a raging party, or the steady, pounding waves of an ocean - whatever, it didn’t matter. He just needed something,  _ anything _ to distract him.

Unfortunately, while his mind was still racing, his body was still aching from all the training of that day. “Ugh, and Peeps has that meeting at 0700, and then we’re supposed to stop on that one planet and help with that thing…” The shark-man groaned, rubbing his eyes again. He didn’t just need a distraction, he needed sleep.

After a few moments, he stretched his arm out towards his bedside table, blindly feeling around until his fingers bumped against a familiar rectangle. “That’ll work…” Grabbing his phone - and squinting a bit as the sudden light from the device nearly blinded him - he began scrolling through playlists. Nothing too energetic or rockin’, that would never get him to sleep. He did have some instrumental tracks though, classical movements that were from various ballets, as well as some decent jazz pieces. “...Nah, that won’t work,” he mumbled. If the music was too chill, he wouldn’t have anything to focus on. Nothing to help him forget.

Growling now, Awesome nearly threw his phone across the room when he remembered something. A suggestion from a certain nerdy commander… Slowly, he stood up and moved around the room, being careful not to trip as he continued to blindly feel around. Where did he put that thing? His closet maybe? Or his dresser? Or- Aha! There it was, in his uniform pants pocket. A small tape recorder with a single tape in it.

“Better be right about this, Peepsqueak,” the shark mumbled as he got back into bed, slipping the headphones over his head. The idea seemed weird, but Peepers swore it worked, and even shared that he used this method himself. So, it had to be good for something. Taking one last deep breath to help him keep calm and cool, Awesome pressed ‘play’.

_ “...You are strong… You are getting better…  _ **_You are safe…_ ** _ ” _

“Tc’ch.” Awesome rolled his eyes. Seriously? This was it? “Whatever.” He closed his eyes, and hoped for at least a couple hours of decent sleep. ...And yet, as the tape played on, Awesome could feel his shoulders start to relax a bit. Suddenly the bed didn’t seem too warm, his room no longer a trap that could turn into a cell (or at worst, a grave) at any moment, and any harsh words or wicked laughter that might have still been ringing in his words was replaced with a voice that… surprisingly wasn’t as annoying as Awesome once thought.

_ “-You are competent… You are going to be okay… You can do this…  _ **_You are safe…_ ** _ ” _

“I’m safe…” he sighed, “I’m safe…”


	3. Weapon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small reference to my two Hater and Cashmere fics, "Freezing Warmth" and "Helmet and Sword", in this one. Technically not part of the Awesome Arc but still part of my own personal post-s2 WoY headcanon cause I like the idea of Hater and Cashy (as well as the rest of the royals) being allies/friends after that prison party and Hater saving the Galaxy, hehe ^v^

**3\. Weapon**

Moments after typing in a simple pass-code, the doors to the Torture Room opened. It’s lighting was dim, only a few torches on the walls to illuminate the way, their flames making the metal of each weapon and spike shine a bit. 

“Well, here we are,” Peepers said, stepping into the room, “You wanted to know if we used any weapons that weren’t blasters, and here is where most of them are.” Though, technically they were Hater’s but, they were still weapons of their Empire.

Following the commander inside, Awesome’s eyes immediately took notice of the huge metal door on the floor, closed and hiding whatever torture was beneath it. “What’s under there? A pit monster or somethin’?”

“...You don’t want to know,” Peepers said after a moment.

Deciding to take his word for it, Awesome moved on. Along with traditional torture room stuff, such as racks and iron maidens, there were plenty of swords and axes. A couple maces too. “So, all this stuff’s just gonna collect dust since Hatey doesn’t really torture dudes anymore? That’s kind of a waste.”

“Yep,” Peepers said simply, a bit of bitterness slipping into his voice. “...I’m surprised you care. Considering you’re someone who usually uses noise-” “Dubstep.” “-Same thing, and big showy weapons to fight your battles, I didn’t think you’d have an interest in more traditional weaponry.”

“I don’t really,” he admitted as he touched the handle of a pretty gnarly looking blade, “But I was just thinkin’, I should probably learn how to use another weapon in case my blaster goes belly up or I lose it, and if my sweet fighting skills aren’t enough to get me out of a jam.”

Despite rolling his eye a bit at the word ‘sweet’, Peepers did have to agree with him. Every good soldier needed a back-up plan in a fight, and considering the hidden dagger they had given him was a bit too small for him to weld properly (though they were working on getting him one that wasn’t Watchdog sized), he did need a second weapon. “Anything you have in mind?”

“Well, maybe on of those laser swords, or some rad brass-knuckles, or-” Awesome stopped. On a wall that was practically full of swords (who would’ve thought Hatey was a sword nerd?), it definitely stood out. Reaching up, he pulled a trident off the wall - painted blood-red, naturally, with threatening black and gold highlights.

“Something familiar?” Peepers asked.

“Yeah, sorta. I know the peeps on the islands of my planet use them to collect seaweed and grub from tide pools and lakes, and then the dudes under the water used them for combat. Especially the royal family. Pretty sure my mom used one against this one duke who wouldn’t back off.”

“I think I’d like your mom, then.” “It wouldn’t last long.” Tightening his grip on the weapon, he swung it around a few times, pretending to fend off and stab invisible enemies.

Peepers however was wincing, hoping to Grop that he wouldn’t break or scratch anything. Even if this room was practically useless now, Lord Hater would still have a fit if anything was ruined. “You  _ do _ know how to use that thing, right?”

“Yeah! …I mean, pretty much. Kinda.” Reluctantly, he turned back to the commander. “...Would you be willing to give me some pointers.”

“Well, I’d be able to modify it so that it could fit in your pocket, but in terms of actually training you to weld it, I’m afraid I’m a bit out of my element.” And Peepers hated that, though he was still big enough to admit his faults. “The most I’ve worked with a swords, and even those were usually sabers. You’d be better off learning from one of our recent allies, Prince Cashmere. He’s definitely more traditional.” After a moment, he added, “And, if you want, we could arrange a training session for the two of use the next time we’re on Baaaahalla.”

Awesome cringed. “Ugh, Baaahalla? Seriously?” Even with the strangely warm temperature of the room, he could already feel himself shivering at the idea of being on the planet where four of their seven seasons were just winter with varying levels of ice and wind. 

“We’ll get you a coat - just as long as you promise not to rip the sleeves off it - and their castle has a huge furnace and fireplace, so it should be fairly warm. Besides… I’ve realized recently that, while other solutions may be simpler, having allies and learning from them is valuable. And sometimes having allies to support you is worth small inconveniences like weather.”

“Huh…” After a moment, Awesome smirked. “Allies, eh? Like me?” 

Peepers narrowed his eye again. “...We’ll see.”

The shark chuckled, and hung the trident over his shoulder as he followed Peepers out the door. “You’re startin’ to like having me around, aren’t you, Peeps?”

“Oh shut up.”


	4. Make-up

**4\. Make-up**

“Bro, if you’re gonna let me do this, you have to hold still-”

“I know I know I know! Ughhhh.” Awesome rolled his eyes. Good thing Hatey wasn’t interested in wearing lipstick, otherwise his mega pouting would’ve ruined it.

“You’re lucky I walked passed your room when I did, dude.”

“I don’t recall even asking for your help, Awesome!”

“Yeah but, trust me Hatey-bro, you totally need it,” Awesome insisted as he reached into his personal make-up case, pulling out another brush as he searched for a certain eyeshadow case.

“Hmph, I thought you said there was ‘nothing you could do about my face’ last time…”

Awesome paused. “...Yeah, maybe that was a bit harsh,” he said, wincing slightly, “My bad. ...But, to be fair, you were lookin’ kinda grim. I mean, bruh, the whole point of wearing make-up is to stand out as you’re lookin’ good. To be bold and awesome with your own personal style and just shine like you’re meant to be in the center of a spotlight, and anyone who thinks otherwise can go jump in a black hole! ...And yet, you were going to go with black, black and more black?”

“I had some purple in there!” ...Though, given his dislike of the color, it was more of a dark grey. Hmph, well, that was just HIS personal style! And, while he doubted that would ever change no matter what his bad guy/good guy status was, there was a certain someone who DID like bright colors… Hence why he hadn’t just kicked Awesome out with a lightning bolt to the face already.

Suddenly, Awesome found the case he was looking for. And as he opened it up, he told Hater with a grin, “Trust me, this is WAY better than purple!”

Hater opened one eye and looked at the case. “Yellow? Why yellow?”

“Uh, first off, it's _gold_ , dude. Big difference. And second: Cause your lightning bolt horn-antler things are yellow! It’ll totally match! And like I said before, gold totes goes with red, black and those bright green eyes of yours, and this stuff’s got a bit of glitter in it too, so it’s definitely gonna make your eyes stand out. Though, sorry if glitter doesn’t exactly go with your whole ‘tough and scary’ look.”

“...I don’t mind glitter that much,” the skeleton mumbled.

Awesome smiled. “Cool. Now come on, close your eyes!”

“Okay okay! Ugh. You better not be making me look like a clown…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” The rest of their little makeover only took about two minutes, since Hater had finally stopped squirming, and when he was done Awesome held up a mirror so the lord could see how he looked. “What do you think, Hatester? Lookin’ good?”

Hater stared at his reflection, tilting his head slightly. The gold eyeshadow did look really good, surprisingly… The white foundation also did wonders, and the mix of dark red and black markings around his eyes made them look sharper, but not menacing while also not looking goofy. “...It’s okay, I guess,” he said finally, unable to hide the small smile now on his boney face.

“Heh, glad to hear it, bro! Now, as for your outfit, I was thinking-”

“Ohhhh no!” Hater suddenly stood up, grabbing Awesome’s arm and taking him up with him. “I’ve already decided my outfit for tonight, and you’re not going to change my mind!” Originally, he was thinking his cloak with the flames, but now, he was definitely going to go with his cloak with the glitter on it. It would match his make-up, it looked good on him and, in a way, it would be sort of nostalgic… “So thanks for the help and all, but it’s time to you to go! I have to finish getting ready, so out!”

“Alright alright, chill, I’m leaving.” As he walked towards the door though, he did glance back at Hater. “Good luck on your date with Princess Wanita tonight, kay?”

Hater blinked. “Who? OH! Y-Yeah! I’m totally going out with a princess! And, pssh, of COURSE it’s going to be a great date! Because he- SHE is with me! So there!”

“...Okayyyy.” With that, Awesome finally left the room, leaving the skeleton to get dressed (as well as deal with his pre-date nerves) in peace. However, as he walked down the dark halls and back towards his room, his mind started to piece it together. Wanita… Wan… Wander… “Heh, no wonder I never heard of this ‘princess’,” he chuckled.

Still, he wouldn’t call Hatey out on it. He’d let him get used to his new boyfriend and enjoy himself, wait until he was comfortable enough with the idea to tell others about it… And THEN he would totally tease him about it. But, he could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray for episode callbacks and for Awesome showing off his make-up skills, heh. I really do wish we could've seen him in more outfits/different make-up in the show, but oh well


	5. Party Planners

**5\. Party Planners**

Peepers rubbed his eye. Er, face? Ugh, it didn’t matter. Either way, he was tired. And frustrated. And, if it weren’t for his pride stopping him from doing so, he would’ve just called it quits and just hire someone to do it instead. “Who would’ve thought something like this would take so much work?” he sighed. And to think, usually he liked making plans...

But with so many variables and elements, something like this was a lot harder to plan than a simple yet enjoyable barbecue. 

“...Hey, nerd.”

Blinking, Peepers turned to see Awesome in the doorway, leaning up against the frame. “Where were you today?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, “You didn’t show up for our training sess.”

“Oh, that.” The Commander scowled a bit. “Well, I’m busy… And I hope you didn’t use my absence as an excuse to take a day off.”

“No,” Awesome rolled his eyes, “Don’t worry, I practiced all my forms, did some target practice, and then I beat up on a punching bag for about twenty minutes. Sorry Peepsqueak, no excuse to yell at me today.” Though he was sure the little twerp would find something to nag him about - especially now that he was in a bad mood. ...Speaking of which- “What are you doing anyway?” he asked as he strolled into the office.

“None of your- HEY!” In a flash, the papers Peepers had been writing on were pulled right out from under him.

And Awesome didn’t have to read much more than the first few words to get excited. “Whoa! Dude, you’re planning a party?!”

“No!” Peepers snapped, snatching the papers back from him, “Technically yes, it is a party persay, but it WON’T involve you!”

“Tc’ch, bruh, EVERY party involves me!” Awesome argued, “All the cool parties anyway.” That’s how it used to be. How it was _supposed_ to be.

“But this party isn’t about you, it’s for the Hater Empire! And for our profits, and we can’t afford to turn it into one of your garish, destructive frat-boy parties!”

Despite the Commander’s harsh words, Awesome just gave him a flat look. “Oh, so this like a fundraising party, yeah? Then you’re definitely gonna want my help.”

By this point, Peepers was fuming, the papers crumbling and practically tearing in his hands. “Yes, this is a fundraising party…” With all the work they had been doing protecting and helping rebuild the Galaxy, their funds were starting to dwindle. And, since they couldn’t simply steal a bunch of money (unfortunately), this was their only option. “But like I said, _Private_ Awesome, I do NOT need your-!”

“Uh, clearly you need some help if you’ve been stressing over this all day,” Awesome retorted. Making himself comfortable, he leaned over the desk and began running his finger down each item on in-progress checklist. “See, like this, you’re planning on hiring an orchestra to play. And, seriously, you’re trying to decide between fancy desserts and table settings? That stuff’s fine if you’re hosting a ball or some lame aristocrat’s gala or a wedding but, bruh, if you want people to make it rain, you gotta loosen them up! Let them have some fun!”

Peepers narrowed his eye a bit, still not completely trusting the shark’s judgement. “If you’re suggesting we simply get an open bar and liquor up a bunch of royals-” He was interrupted again, this time by Awesome’s laughter.

“Nah, though we are gonna want drinks. Thing is though, this isn’t a dance, it’s a PARTY. Yeah, you’re gonna want some music, but it’s gotta be somethin’ you can get down to! However, not everyone’s gonna want to dance, so if that and some refreshments are all you have to offer, the richies are gonna bail before they even think about opening up their wallets.”

“...Well, I was also going to have Lord Hater make a speech, just to explain where all the money would be going…” Peepers mumbled. But that didn’t exactly scream ‘fun’... “Ugh, even if you’re right about all this, it’s like I said, we can’t just turn it into one of your wild parties. And besides, the budget-”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” Awesome insisted, and for once it didn’t sound like he was just blowing Peepers’ comments off, “I may not throw them all the time, but I have been to my share of galas and benefits. You gotta strike that right balance between classy and fun, making sure everyone has a good time without forgetting why they’re even there. But trust me, there’s tons of entertainment that you can hire that’ll still be considered ‘high class’ and all that jazz. You can usually get most of them for a pretty good deal too.”

“...” Peepers looked up at Awesome, then at his list of plans, and then - with a sigh - back at Awesome. “Just what ‘entertainment’ did you have in mind?”

Three hours seemed to pass by in an instant, and while tiring they were also effective. Phone calls had been made, plans had been rearranged over and over again, and numerous checks were written out. Peepers even brought out a schematic of the throne room so he and Awesome could plan out the decorations as well as all the various stages they would need. Everything from balloon bouquets to the outfits of the waiters to even holographic displays of all the good deeds Hater had done since the battle on the Secret Planet were planned down to the minute detail. And, by the end of it, everything seemed to have miraculously fallen into place.

“-So, once the magicians and fire dancers start their performances, we’ll start setting up for the acrobats’ show. And then-”

“Then Furball’s got his tunes, which you know everyone’s gonna love. The lil’ dude can make anyone love banjo music. And that’ll put everyone in a good mood for Hatey’s speech-”

“Which will lead into our big dessert for the night, and finally the fireworks show!” Feeling about a hundred times lighter now, Peepers allowed himself another bite of his supper, giving a happy hum as he munched on the sweet and sour chicken (ordered in straight from the Skull Ship food court).

“See?” Awesome asked in-between bites of kung pao shrimp, “I told you we could work this out, Peeps! It’s like I said, I know my parties! Even parties that aren’t my style, I can still find a way to make sure everyone there’s havin’ an awesome time.”

“And without making yourself the star of the whole thing,” Peepers added.

“Yeah well, we all know what happened the last time I was on a stage. So, maybe I’m better off being behind the scenes on this one…” There was a moment of silence. “But hey, that’s cool. I mean, it’s still a party so, I’ll take what I can get.”

“Mm,” Peepers nodded, stirring his rice, “I have to admit, Private, I am impressed… Who would’ve thought there was a brain underneath all that muscle?”

“Tc’ch,” Awesome smirked, “And who would’ve thought you could loosen up a little and actually let someone else help you out with work? Now I just have to make sure you actually have fun at the party and don’t go into another freakout. Shouldn’t be too hard, even with that giant stick up your bu-” He was then hit with a particularly juicy piece of chicken, though that didn’t stop him from laughing.


	6. Video Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small reference to 'The Cool Guy(s)' in this one, so while the other drabbles in this series can take place whenever, this is the only one that has a set time-point.

Even after their little trip to the arcade, Awesome couldn’t really call himself a gamer in the slightest. Too much just sitting around and staring at a screen. Even exciting or cool games couldn’t seem to hold his attention for more than half an hour.

That is, they couldn’t hold his attention when he was playing by himself. Two player games, on the other hand, were a bit of a different story.

“Come on! Come on! Gogogogo-!”

“Dude, you know that pressing the button harder ain’t gonna make your guy hit harder-”

“SHUT UP! Come on, we’re almost there! And you’d better cover me!”

“On it,” Awesome nodded, switching to his long range weapon. Their characters - two janitors in matching orange and purple overalls and hats - were storming the final fortress of the level. The beautiful queen was right there! They just had to defeat the evil sorcerer first, as well as his seemingly endless amount of minions. “Flarpin’- Why do these guys take so long to die?!”

“Just keep shooting!” Hater ordered, button mashing like crazy and making it look like his character was having a seizure as he bounced around on the platforms. 

Suddenly, the background of the game darkened as the sorcerer raised his hands. “Grop, this again!” Awesome winced. Better get his health items ready…

Hater on the other hand decided to charge, unloading nearly all his lightning and fire attacks at once - only to get knocked off the platforms by the force of his enemy’s attack, losing nearly half his life.

“Seriously, dude?! WHY did you think that would-?!” “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” The two of them were right on the edge of Hater’s bed now, practically standing. The snacks and drinks that sat on the bedside table (which they had dragged up so it was within arm's reach) were ignored, as was every other thing in the room. Even Captain Tim’s screeching and the various Watchdog screams from down the hall weren’t enough to make them look up. All that matter was this game, and this one (hopefully) final battle... 

Attack after attack, item after item. Dodge, block, attack, throw. Up down up down, left right left right. The pixelated villain was down to about a third of a life bar now, but was also not showing any mercy whatsoever, barely giving the two former enemies time to react. This fight was going to be close…

_*knock knock*_ “Sir? Have you seen-?” Peepers opened the door and peaked in, instantly getting his answer once he spotted his soldier-in-training next to his lord. “Ugh, of course…” Normally, he would be thrilled that the two of them weren’t wasting their time egging each other on and being at each other’s throats, but this ‘bro time’ was starting to get distracting.  

“Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Peepers said as he stepped further into the bedroom, “But it’s time for Awesome to begin his training session with me, which he would know if he was paying any attention to the time like he should be-!”

Unfortunately for the Commander, his words fell on deaf words, muffled by pixelated jingles and 32-bit explosions. For Hater and Awesome, there was only the game… A game that they just HAD to win.

Although- “Dude, startin’ to think we’re screwed here,” Awesome spoke up.

But Hater was determined. “Just keep hitting him! And be my bait while you’re at it, I have an idea!”

Not willing to argue, Awesome quickly brought his character closer, instantly drawing the villain’s fire. While he did this, Hater jumped across the platforms as fast as he could, and once he reached the last one, he dove behind the villain and began firing dirtball after dirtball. Awesome tried to help as well, launching his own attacks as he continued dodging and running. 

“Sir! SIR!” Peepers yelled, “Lord Hater! Private Awesome?!” A worthy attempt, but still a failed one.

“Okay, you magic wizard jerkface-!” Hater said, nearly frying his controller in his excitement as he held down several buttons, releasing the final attack that he had been saving this entire battle. His janitor began to glow as he got out his broom - once gold-colored, but now shone in all the colors of the rainbow. “Take THIS! RAHHHH!” His character jumped up, and with one final button press, the holy broom was swung across the sorcerer’s body like a sword, hitting him at least two dozen times within only a couple seconds.

Soon enough, the attack ended, and the screen froze. Hater and Awesome, and even Peepers, were silent as they watched. For a moment, it almost seemed like the game had broke. But then, the sorcerer flashed - once, twice, three times - before exploding in a burst of light and soap bubbles. 

As soon as that happened, both Hater and Awesome leapt to their feet and cheered as loud as they could, throwing their arms up and fist pumping as hard as they could.

“Yes! YESSSSS! I TOLD you we could beat that guy!” “And it’s about flarpin’ time we did! Dude, that was AWES-!”

“Ahem.” The two stopped, finally noticing the new person in the room. Slowly, they looked down - and quickly covered their mouths to muffle their laughter once they saw the state their commander was in. Completely drenched head to toe in Thunderblazz, with chips and gummy worms sticking to his uniform and helmet. All of the refreshments that the two had gathered for their game time - and that Awesome had accidentally knocked off the bedside table in his excitement - were now all over him as well as the floor.

“Heh, whoops, sorry ‘bout that, Peeps,” Awesome grinned, “But, come on, it’s all good! I’m sure you’ve had worst looks, right?”

Narrowing his eye, Peepers breathed in, then out. Once he spoke, his voice was calm yet cold. “Well, I just came in here to tell you that it was time for us to train. Now, I hope you had fun, Private, because I do believe I have something special in mind for today’s session.” Turning on his heal, he added, “I hope you’re in the mood for laps and drills.”

“Aww, seriously?!” Awesome groaned, all while Hater continued to snicker. 

“Oooh, Awesome’s in trouble~” he teased in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up, bonehead!” Not even sparing a second glance at him, Peepers made his way out of the room and towards the showers, with Awesome right behind him. “It was an ACCIDENT, Peepers! Why you gotta take it so personally? Can’t you just be a bro about it? Peeps! PEEPS!”


	7. Social Media

**7\. Social Media**

“The usual, kay?” The food court worker nodded, and handed Awesome his fish sandwich and fries. Maybe it wasn’t a cocktail shrimp or sushi, but at least it was something. “Thanks, dude,” he told him, giving the worker a quick wink before taking his tray.

The food court was actually pretty crowded that day, making it hard to find an open seat. Though, as he walked around, he couldn’t help but notice that most of the Watchdogs there weren’t even eating. Instead they had their eyes in their phones, snorting and giggling every few seconds.

Eventually though, he was able to find a spot when an entire table got up to leave, laughing loudly and saying “Into the black hole we go!” or something like that. Awesome didn’t get it but his hunger was overriding his curiosity, so he just shrugged it off, sat down, and began eating.

He didn’t get more than a couple bites into his sandwich before a voice interrupted him. “Ugh, finally, someone who isn’t just staring into a rectangle.”

Awesome gave him a flat look. “Please tell me you’re not one of those lamewads who think that cells are gonna be the ‘downfall of the universe’ or some grop like that.”

“Oh, of course not.” Peepers rolled his eye as he sat down. “Cell phones are useful and allow us to have both instant communication and information at the tap of a touch screen, and they certainly aren’t ‘dangerous’ enough to end society.” He then gave a small scowl. “However… That doesn’t make people who only use them to look at me-mes - instead of working or training - like they _should be -_ any less annoying!” Peepers had made sure to turn towards the various Watchdogs as he said this, though he was ultimately ignored

Awesome snorted. “It’s pronounced ‘memes’, bro.”

“Ugh, whatever it is, apparently this one about black holes and ironically humorous pessimism is just hiLARIOUS, so it’s all they can talk about.” Thankfully, Watchdogs had a pretty small attention span, so Peepers predicted that all this meme talk would die down by the end of the week (especially if Andy decided to mention it on his little show).

“Mm,” Awesome nodded, focusing back on his sandwich, “I wou’n kno’. Hav’nt b’n on soc’l med’ia in m’nths, bruh.” He swallowed. “...Also, I’m impressed. Who would’ve thought you could make memes sound nerdy?”

“Oh shut up. ...Wait, you haven’t been on social media in months?” Peepers raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that one of your ‘things’?”

“Was… Haven’t really been online since I left Suburbon 5.” The only exception had been when he posted all about his so-called ‘huge comeback’ party, and even then he hadn’t taken the time to look at his feed or messages.

“And why’s that?” “Uh, why is THIS suddenly an interrogation?” “I’m only asking,” Peepers told him, his voice a bit softer now, having a bit less of a ‘nagging tone’ as Awesome would call it.

“...Well, would YOU really want to be online after you totally humiliated yourself?” The shark grumbled. He was no longer looking at the Commander, instead focusing on dipping his fry in ketchup over and over. “Besides, ‘s not like I’ve got anything to post, really. Most days I either learn how to fight from you before going to work out or target practice, or I’m off helping you guys with some mission. Haven’t thrown any wild planet-destroying parties, and I’ve only gone out a couple times since I joined the Empire. Can’t really go shopping or follow the latest trends if I just wear a uniform every day anyway. Haven’t met anyone cool, or done anything cool… Flarp, I haven’t even gotten _laid_ in-”

“Okay okay , I get it,” Peepers interrupted, not liking where the conversation was going, “But, just because you’re living a simpler life at the moment doesn’t mean-”

“You _don’t_ get it,” Awesome said, meeting his gaze once more, “Social medias full of rumors, and trolls, and plenty of comments and memes about how people flarped up or how lame they are now…” How they were defeated and captured and burned, or how they passed out at their own party and fell right off a stage… He knew all these posts were there, just waiting for him to see them. “I just… Don’t need that grop right now,” he finished, his glare deepening as he looked back down at his tray, “And yeah, I know. I know it’s TOTAL weaksauce that I’m avoiding the entire internet just so I don’t-”

“I think it’s smart.”

Awesome blinked. “...Seriously?”

“You said it yourself, you don’t need all of that right now,” Peepers said, folding his arms, “You’re working on making yourself stronger and more skilled in a fight, that’s admirable. You’ve been helping the Hater Empire rebuild the Galaxy, and you’ve been working on your own issues on the side, and making quite a bit of progress with them. Also admirable. No reason to deter your progress or your hard work just so you can look at memes or trends, only to feel triggered or discouraged after seeing something. So yes, it’s a smart plan.”

With that, the Commander went back to his own lunch, and after a few moments, so did Awesome. The two sat in silence, quietly eating and ignoring the random instances of laughter from the other Watchdogs around them. It was only when Peepers stood up to take his trash away that he spoke again.

“By the way, you say it’s been months since you’ve been on social media? Considering the internet’s collective attention span, those types of posts about you should be at a minimum. When you do decide to return to your blogging or gramming or whatever, you shouldn’t have too much to worry about.” After a moment, he added, “And, a filtering device from the boys in the programming should also help, if you want it.”

Peepers then turned to leave- “Peepers!” -and stopped, turning his head over his shoulder to look at the shark.

“...Thanks, Peeps,” Awesome smiled.

Peepers simply nodded. “You’re welcome.”

"Heh... So, you seriously just called it 'blogging and gramming', huh? Grop, man, you are SUCH a grandpa."

"And you are SO lucky I don't have my blaster with me right now."


	8. Cool

**8\. Cool**

It was meant to be a simple mission. Explore a currently uninhabited planet that was still in its ‘regrowing’ phase, figure out who used to live there and take care of any threats, allowing the planet’s citizens to return. However, when it came to planets that hadn’t been stepped on in months, there were usually a lot more than the wide cracks and drill-made chasms to worry about. Though, he didn’t think that  _ any _ of them were expecting the tree monsters, or the giant spiky frogs.

...Needless to say, everything went to grop pretty quickly. 

Awesome gritted his teeth as he went into a slide, just barely making it under two branches that tried to make a grab for him. He knew he had to book it, with more trees just behind him. Stopping for just a moment, he fired a few more shots from his blaster, and managed to hit a couple of the trees right in their exposed roots. The creatures screeched loudly at what was essentially their legs being burned, and Awesome gave a small smirk. “That should buy me some time,” he mumbled before breaking back into a run.

Watchdogs all around him were already running, trying their hardest to get back to the Skull Ship before they got eaten. Laser blasts and lightning strikes were almost a constant, as were the sounds of screeches, roars and screams. Thankfully, it seemed like the tables were starting to turn - somewhere on the planet, Awesome could hear the sounds of missiles and heavier artillery than just a standard blaster being used. That would definitely give them a bit of an advantage. ...Just as long as they were able to dodge the missiles too.

“Tc’ch, way to save all the actually useful weapons for yourself, Peepsq- EEK!” 

A stray, blasted-off branch had been in his path, unbeknownst to him, causing him to trip and roll head-first into a bush full of thorns. “Ugh, SERIOUSLY?!” he growled, wincing at each poke he felt. Well, at least he didn’t run into the mouth of a tree monster…

“Not like this is any better though, ugh…” Patting his hand around the ground, his scowl only grew when he realized that his blaster hadn’t landed in the bushes with him. Of course. So, bracing himself, Awesome slowly crawled forward through all the pricks and thorns. “It’s gotta just be up ahead, right? Just gotta grab my blaster, get out of these flarping bushes, and get the grop outta-”

When he felt the tip of his snout poke through what seemed to be the other side of this prickly plant, Awesome quickly rushed forward - and was almost immediately face to face with a giant spiky frog-beast. A frog-beast with a completely broken blaster under his foot.

“...” Slowly, Awesome flashed what he hoped was a charming enough grin at it. “Heyyyyy-”

The frog-beast roared at him, and Awesome clenched his eyes shut, getting down as low as he could and praying to Glorn that the beast would be kind enough to eat him in one piece.

But before the frog could even try, there was a sharp crackle and a blinding green flash. 

Daring to open one of his eyes, Awesome saw the frog’s entire body convulse as electricity sparked around it. And as soon as the electricity faded, the frog leapt away without sparing it’s would-be meal a single glance, allowing the shark to see the skeletal lord that had been standing behind it.

“...Soooo, why are you laying in thorny bushes?” Hater asked as he walked over to him.

Awesome glared. “Oh you know, just chillaxin’, thought I’d maybe get a tan- What do you think I’m doing in here, bonehead?! I tripped and fell into it!”

“Okay okay, geez!” Hater snapped, glaring right back at him, “I was just asking!”

“Whatever! Just get me out of-!” Suddenly, the ground began to shake as loud thuds could be heard. Far away at first, then closer and closer, one thud right after the other until finally, two frogs - these being much bigger than the last one with even sharper spikes on their backs - hopped out of the thick jungle. 

“...I think you pissed off that frog’s two older bros, Hatey.”

“Hmph, like I care! Come on!” Barely giving the private any time to react (or even cry out in pain), Hater grabbed Awesome’s wrist and yanked him right out of the bushes, bringing him to his feet. And as the frogs took another earth-shaking hop towards them, Hater practically scooped Awesome up into his arms.

“W-What the-?!” “Just shut up and hang on!”

Hater’s body began to glow with an electric green aura, and after a couple seconds his feet just barely started to leave the ground. 

One of the frogs narrowed its eyes and shot his tongue out at the duo, and was nearly blinded by green light for its trouble. Once it could open its eyes again though, it’s prey was gone!

“Ha!” Hater grinned, now a few good yards away from the beasts, “Teleportation powers! Boo-yah! Can’t eat us now, can you?! You’re just-”

“Uh, Hater!” Awesome spoke up, still in Hater’s arms and now gripping the lord’s cloak as the trees above them shook. “I don’t think we’re out of the woods just yet, dude! LITERALLY!”

Several screeches pierced the air as the tree monsters appeared, baring their bark-like fangs. But while Hater’s scowl deepened, he never flinched. Branches shot out at them like arrows, but with a quick wave of his hand and a huge release of electric energy turned them to ash in seconds. Growling now, the trees tried to smack the skeleton away, but as his aura returned, Hater was able to float up into the air. 

“Right… I always forget you can sorta fly,” Awesome mumbled.

In an instant, the chase was on! Using his powers, Hater propelled himself forward, shooting lightning from one hand while his skilled footing allowed him to both land on and jump off of the various non-monstrous trees and rocks that they flew passed.

“Dude, heads up!” Awesome managed to shout after glancing over Hater’s shoulder. Several very sharp branches were heading straight towards them!

“Got it!” Hater nodded, ducking to the left just in time to avoid the attack. The Skullship was in sight now. And once they were in it, victory was practically theirs! Not even giant spiky frogs and vicious tree creatures could fight against the ship’s vast amount of lasers! 

But, perhaps the monsters of the planet knew this, for several frogs and trees had surrounded the ship. Currently, they were trying to climb up the tall tongue to reach the Watchdogs posted in the mouth, who were trying (and failing) to either shoot them or intimidate them into leaving.

The skeletal lord slowed, floating in the air now as he groaned. “Ugh, seriously?!” Hater shouted - which of course, just brought the attention of the creatures towards them. Awesome gulped. They were way outnumbered and practically surrounded, practically a sitting duck (or fly, in this case)!

In an instant, more sharp branches were fired just as all of the frogs shot out their tongues, hoping to grab their newest meal. Awesome closed his eyes-

And the world went bright green.

"H-Huh?" Eyes wide now, Awesome glanced over at his rival-turned-lord. The faint green aura that had still been surrounding Hater had now completely taken over him, making his entire body green as it sparked (though thankfully, it didn’t shock the shark-man in his arm). The creatures flinched at the bright light, with the frogs quickly pulling their tongues back while the wooden projectiles turned to ash just as they did before. Not wanting to give them another chance to attack though, Hater raised a fist, electricity practically pouring from it.

With a loud “RAHHHH!” he threw it down, unleashing a large shockwave that affected everything but Awesome, any nearby Watchdogs and the Skullship. 

The frogs screeched and whimpered, quickly hopping away while the tree creatures quickly retreated as well, rapidly patting themselves and putting out any stray flames as they ran. With that taken care of, Hater landed right on his ship’s crown, giving a sigh as his body slowly became it’s normal colors once more. 

“Ugh, stupid weird jungle monsters…” He grumbled before turning to Awesome. “...You alright?”

“Uh… Yeah man, I’m good,” Awesome nodded. His mind reminded him that he was still in Hater’s arm, despite no longer needing to be. He was also mentally reminded that this was HATER. Hater, who did dorky victory dances and whined about practically everything. Hater, who got worked up over winning silly video games and thought things like ‘reading comics’ and ‘night riding’ were worthy of an awesome night out! 

...And yet, Awesome continued to stare at him. The green aura still just barely around the skeleton as he stood with a firm scowl on his face, looking like he hadn’t even broken a sweat despite all his awesome moves and attacks just a few moments ago. Was this how he looked on that Secret Planet when he defeated  _ her? _ Because if that was the case, well then… he just couldn’t help but think:

“...So  **_cool._ ** ”

Hater blinked. “...Oh. R-Really? I mean, of COURSE I’m cool, practically the coolest but,  _ you _ really think-?”

“HEYYYYY! HATER! AWESOME!”

“Huh?” The two looked out over the land behind the ship, where there was not only a small clearing (thanks to the ship’s engines) but also a pair of familiar nomads.

“There you guys are!” Wander grinned as he continued to wave. Currently, the wandering weirdo was sitting on the back of a napping spiky frog, as if it was the most harmless animal in the universe. As for Sylvia, she was napping as well, laying in a hammock that had been tied onto two sitting tree creatures, who were busy making some sort of arts and crafts project with their own fallen leaves alongside several other trees. “I was thinkin’ ya’ll would be around here somewhere, seein’ that your ship’s here! Aren’t these guys just great?!”

“W-Wander?!” Hater’s scowl quickly returned (as did a bit of green in his cheekbones). “Get out of here before you get eaten! Er, o-or before you ruin my plans to conquer this place! Or both! Yeah, before both those things happen! That’s what I meant! Gah, JUST GET OUT OF HERE!”

With that, Hater unceremoniously dropped Awesome onto the hard metal below their feet before flying off the ship and back towards the ground. 

“Ugh,” Awesome pouted, rubbing his tailbone, “Numbskull…” Yeah, a few cool moments aside, he was still a total skele-dork. Standing up, he looked around. And then looked around some more. “...And how the flarp am I supposed to get down from here?!”


	9. Chores

**9\. Chores**

“...Well…  _ This  _ was certainly a disaster, wouldn’t you all agree?”

Peepers stood in front of the four soldiers, his arms crossed as he tapped his foot. The three Watchdogs managed to stand at attention, despite how hard it was to look the Commander in the eye. As for Awesome, he was the only one looking calm. Sure, he regretted his actions a little, but he was already SO done with this lecture biz’.

Figuring it was the responsibility of the men to clean their own living space rather than the janitors, it was customary that at the end of each week, a selective group would clean each cubby (WITHOUT snooping or looking at whatever their fellow soldiers had in their ‘rooms’). They would also sweep the floors of the dormitory, dust the ceiling, and wipe down each window. 

Sure with all the soldiers that lived on the ship, it could be called a huge task, but Peepers still considered it to be a simple chore. He also figured that since it was Alan, Antonio and Arthur’s turn to clean, he could add Awesome to the group to help them. The shark-man didn’t live in the dormitories of course, but Peepers knew for a fact that Awesome didn’t clean his own room on the ship. So, perhaps this would teach Awesome a bit of responsibility, as well as teamwork. It certainly wouldn’t hurt for the obnoxious former-emperor to clean something every once in a while too. 

...Needless to say, Peepers had been proven wrong. And he HATED being proven wrong.

“Looking at all  _ this _ -!” Peepers spat, gesturing to the mess in the Watchdog dormitory. “I think it’s safe to say that you all failed to complete the task asked of you.” The floor had been sprinkled with dust. The windows had been streaked with dirty water and fingerprints. The ceiling had barely even been touched! Several cleaning rags were left abandoned in various spots around the room. And, to top it all off, loose straw and splinters from the broken broom as well as wheels from a pair of busted roller skates were laying on the floor in front of them, presented as evidence of their tomfoolery. 

Sighing, Peepers pinched his eye for a moment before continuing. “So… Do you four have anything to say for yourselves?”

“Um, don’t give into peer pressure?” Alan offered.

“That would be one thing to take away from this failure, yes,” Peepers nodded before looking at the next one in line.

“Uh, t-take your time with completing your chores?” Antonio suggested.

“Yeah!” Arthur nodded, “And stay focused! Definitely stay focused!”

“Good, good…” Looking at the last soldier in line, Peepers narrowed his eye a bit. “Private Awesome?”

“Uhhhh…” The shark thought about it for a few seconds. “Well, I can definitely say… that there’s absolutely no way you can make doing chores fun OR awesome.” Peepers growled. “Okay okay! Don’t try to combine sports and/or sweet stunts with doing chores. Happy now?”

“Hardly. Now, you’ll all return to this chore tomorrow, but for now, I have an extra chore. You four will be cleaning the locker rooms from top to bottom - including the showers and the toilets.” He could see his men holding back groans. Good, maybe this would really teach them a lesson. “AND I expect to not see a single speck of dirt or grout ANYWHERE, or you’ll all be put on Captain Tim litter box duty for a month!”

The soldiers saluted (though Awesome did roll his eye a bit as he did so) before leaving the dorm and heading towards the nearest janitor’s closet. 

“Ugh, I can’t believe he’s making us do this on our day off,” Awesome mumbled, folding his arms behind his head as they walked.  _ Not so awesome _ . ...Still, maybe he could still make the day interesting. After all, they’d need water to clean a locker room, right? And sponges were about the size of a foot, especially a Watchdog foot… And hey, if anyone asked, he could say that he was trying to make a more ‘effective’ way of cleaning the totally nasty locker room floors. Because hey, what was more effective than racing across a wet floor, leaving tons of suds behind and all while making your fellow cleaners eat your metaphorical dust?

Awesome grinned. Now THAT sounded awesome, even if it was still a chore. 

Besides, what could go wrong?


	10. Tastes

**10\. Tastes**

The food court grew tense as soon as they both entered (on opposite sides of the room, naturally). Things remained peaceful as they grabbed their food, each eyeing each other’s choices while the Watchdogs watched, whispering quietly and wondering if they should duck for cover now or wait until food actually started flying.

The two rivals gave each other a glare before turning away, trying to find a place to sit. Unfortunately for them, nearly every table was full (or had been filled up in the last few seconds), leaving just one choice for both of them. Thankfully, the Watchdog already sitting there was the only one who could both mediate as well as handle their ridiculousness in general.

Hater took the seat on the right, Awesome took the one on the left. They gave each other one last glare before digging into their food. For the skeletal lord, taquitos with an order of nachos. For the former emperor of awesomeness, fish sticks and coleslaw. Though before he started eating, Awesome took out a small brown bag.

“...What’s in there?” Hater asked, practically mumbled as if he didn’t really care. (Which he didn’t. Tooooootally didn’t.)

“Hm? Oh, nothin’ special. Though, still pretty good,” Awesome answered coolly as he opened the bag. A light smirk appeared on his face. “Just a little somethin’ I had Handy make for me last time I visited my ship. Gotta get good food when I can, you know?”

Hater scowled at the subtle insult, and his frown only deepened when Awesome finally revealed what was in his ‘nothing special’ bag.

Grinning now, Awesome took a generous bite of his rice ball. “Oh yeah, nothin’ like a little rice and seaweed with your meal, huh Hatey?”

“Hmph, seems like you’re just filling up on boring rice and gross seaweed to me,” Hater shrugged, “But, hey. That’s just me. Personally I would’ve gotten something ACTUALLY appetizing. You know, like potato chips or fries.”

Awesome narrowed his eyes. “If you say so, bro… Even if you’re wrong cause, like, if I couldn’t have my rice balls, then I’d probably have to go with fried rice. Or maybe a bowl of ramen-”

“Or tacos,” Hater suggested, “Or a double burger with cheese-”

“Or sashimi,” Awesome retorted, “Or heck, maybe even an epic shrimp kabob!”

“Burritos! Delicious, amazing burritos that TOTALLY KICK YOUR RICE BALL’S BUTT!”

“Or maybe I’ll fry up some tempura! Shrimp, cod, rays - tc’ch, whatevs! Anything I fry up is gonna taste AMAZING!”

“Pizza!” “Yakitori!” “Steaks, medium rare!” “Scallops!” “Enchiladas!” (A Watchdog in the corner cheered at that one, but was ignored.) “Curry, bro! CURRY!” “THE GREATEST MEATLOAF IN THE GALAXY!” “THE AWESOMEST GRILLED SALMON EVER-!”

Peepers rolled his eye. Ugh, first the ice cream incident, now all this? He knew that the two of them liked to take things personally, which only made their competitiveness all the worse, but this was getting ridiculous! “Sir, Private,” Peepers started to say, deciding to speak up before another war was started, “Is all this _really_ necce-?”

“Yes, Peepers, it IS necessary!” Hater insisted.

At the same time Awesome shouted, “He started it! I mean, yeah, fine, everyone’s got their own tastes. But calling sushi the quote ‘grossest food in the Galaxy’?! Like…. Bruh! BRUH!”

“It IS gross, Awesome!” Hater snapped, “And there’s no one on this ship - except you - who would EVER want a sushi day in the food court!”

“Um, actually, according to a survey we took,” Andy began to say, but his cameraman quickly shushed him.

“Tc’ch, yeah, maybe their tongues are so numb from all the cheap burgers and tacos and grop that you keep ordering the cooks to make,” Awesome accused, crossing his arms, “Dude, ever hear of variety? Or maybe just something that’s not full of nasty grease?”

“We’ll maybe YOU’RE just jealous that you can’t handle spicy foods! Just like you can’t handle super cold foods!”

“Oh, trust me dude, I can handle ANY amount of spice you’re dishing out!”

“Oh yeah?! Well-!”

“Okay, _enough!_ ” Peepers shouted. He absolutely refused to listen to any more! “Obviously, you two aren’t going to change each other’s minds. So, why don’t you just accept that instead of continuing with this pointless bickering?! Besides, there are plenty of other people in the Galaxy who don’t like the same foods you do, and you certainly can’t pick a fight with all of them! I mean, look at me! I don’t like the taste of sushi - or the taste of most fish, for that matter - and just looking at taquitos gives me heartburn. Frankly, I’d prefer a plain piece of grilled chicken and a ceasar salad with some milk as a drink. Not only is it more refreshing and healthier, but honestly it just seems more appetizing to me.”

For several seconds, Hater and Awesome could only stare at the Commander. For a brief moment Peepers thought that maybe, just maybe, he had managed to break through to them.

Unfortunately, this hope didn’t last long.

“Seriously Peepers? A salad? PLAIN chicken?” “Ugh, so lame.” “No wonder you don’t get it.” “Yeah, man. You clearly have, like, no taste at all.” “Definitely no taste.” “SO boring.”

Peepers sighed, not even having the energy to glare at them when the arguing started back up. He simply stabbed his macaroni and cheese over and over, and mumbled, “Why do I even try?”


	11. Back-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another drabble that takes place at a specific time in the arc, this time a few months after 'The Simulation'. Enjoy!

**11\. Back-up**

The cave was fairly well lit, with bright torches lining the walls. It helped a little, though it didn’t make the situation any less tense.

“Just keep breathing, Awesome,” he told himself, trying to steady his hands as much as possible, “Just… Keep… Breathing…” And moving. Had to keep moving. Couldn’t get stuck, or cornered, or trapped. He wouldn’t survived getting trapped again, he couldn’t-

“Graaaah!” He shook his head, gritting his teeth as he tried to ignore the burning he felt along his legs. When he felt a hot laser blast just barely fly past his dorsal fin, he quickly leapt from his cover, landing and ducking behind a much bigger stalagmite.

“Awesome!” he heard a familiar nasally voice ask - though he wasn’t sure where, it sounded so muffled and distant to him, “Everything alright?”

“Y… Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” Peepers asked, his tone stern yet sympathetic. 

Because of that, Awesome took a bit longer to answer. “...I, I wanna keep going. So, come on. Let’s, let’s just do this thing already, nerd!”

Squeezing his fist, the shark-man then dared himself to poke his head out from cover - and winced when he saw three lava-bots crawling right towards him. He raised his blaster and - no, no grop damn it stop shaking you loser they’re going to catch you if you don’t toughen up you’re being such a lamewad do you WANT to get burned again just get over it already and-!

***ZAP!***

From behind him, a perfectly aimed laser blast hit the center lava-bot, knocking it back almost instantly as it’s metal darkened. Once a nightmare, now just a pile of rocks and metal. 

“...” Taking another deep breath, Awesome narrowed his eyes and took aim.  _ He wasn’t alone. _ He fired, hitting the one on the left. Not a kill shot, but enough to slow it down.  _ He wasn’t going to be captured again. _ He fired again, knocking the left one out before taking aim at the bot on the right.  _ He had this.  _ **_They_ ** _ had this. _

For the next ten minutes, Awesome and Peepers continued traveling through the cave, sticking near the shadows and managing to take out each bot they encountered. It wasn’t long before they could see the exit, and the closer they traveled to the bright light, the more the ‘cave’s’ walls began looking like metal and holo-panels. 

“...You did very well,” Peepers announced as he opened the door, allowing the private to leave the holo-training room first, “Your aim has gotten a lot better.” Awesome could tell this comment was genuine, so he nodded, giving a silent thanks as he grabbed his water bottle from the control desk. It only took about half a minute for him to chug it. “Though I will say that your reaction times are still a bit slow, but we can always use different scenarios as well as different exercises and methods to help you improve before we return to this one.”

“Tc’ch…” Awesome leaned against the desk, setting his bottle back down. “Honestly, bro, that’s all good but… Right now, all I can think about is that I FINALLY managed to make it through one of these stupid things without wussing out…”

“ _ Tapping _ out,” Peepers firmly corrected, “And that’s fine. You should be focusing on this accomplishment.” It was certainly a big one. Not including their disastrous first attempt, there had been three other times where Awesome had tried to complete the bot-scenario and failed, either because he became too panicked or was simply afraid. Not afraid of simply getting a bad time or failing the simulation, but of what would happen if any of the holographic bots actually reached him. Of what could happen again.

Perhaps that was what inspired Peepers to change up his tactics a bit.

“...I think I’m gonna go swim for a bit,” Awesome said suddenly. His body wasn’t shaking, but his arms were up near his chest in a protective position, hands folded down like a t-rex’s. He wasn’t having a panic attack, nor did he really seem all that upset, but seeing lava-bots in any form always affected him somewhat. “Just for an hour or two.”

“Very well,” Peepers nodded. Nothing wrong with a cool down, especially after exercise (physical, emotional or otherwise).

Awesome nodded, and Peepers went over to the control desk himself, eager to quickly record his private’s results before moving on to his next task of the day.

“...Hey Peeps?”

Peepers glanced up. “Yes?”

“...Thanks for having my back, bro,” Awesome told him, giving him a small smile.

“Well, of course. It’s what a commander does, after all,” Peepers replied coolly as he went back to his screen, “He leads his men through danger. As you would put it, ‘no big deal’. By the way, don’t forget to run some laps later tonight. You can’t just log all your physical activities hours as weight lifting, I won’t have anyone slowing this army down.”

"...Pfft." Awesome chuckled, and did finger-guns at him. “You got it, Peepsqueak.” With that, he continued heading towards the Skull Ship pool, and once he was gone, Peepers allowed himself a smile of his own.

It’s true, the infamous commander believed in self-responsibility and self-preservation almost above all else. If a Watchdog couldn’t reach their goals or failed to be at their army’s standard, then it was their fault, not Peepers’. And of course, he had no problem reprimanding these failures with plenty of yelling and a couple of non-fatal (yet still painful) shots from his trusty blaster.

...However, if he could see that a soldier really was trying and fighting their hardest rather than being foolish or lazy, then he had no problem offering them some help every once in a while. Maybe even a bit of encouragement time to time.

It was just what a commander did, after all.


	12. Pets

**12\. Pets**

“...So, they’re cats, right?”

“...Uhhhh, yeah dude, they’re cats.” Awesome gave him a look as he absentmindedly petted one of his white tigrexes. “What else would they be?”

“But… But you’re a FISH!” Hater said, as if Awesome somehow didn’t know this, "Half fish, at least. And cats EAT fish, don't they?"

“Well, they’ve never tried to eat me,” Awesome told him, “Probably cause I’m not a jerk to them. They do their own thing, I do mine.” Handy always made sure they were fed, and sometimes (when he wasn’t already sharing - or rocking - his bed with someone else) they’d even cuddle up next to him on cold nights. “Besides, dude, in terms of deadly creatures, pretty sure YOUR pet has both of mine beat.”

Hater gave a warm smile at the thought of his little spider-beast. “Heh, yeahhh…” He turned his attention back to the tigrexes, watching as the one Awesome had been petting soon left him for a nice comfy spot on the neon-colored shag carpeting. The other tigrex was in the corner, cleaning itself. 

It was strange. When he had heard Awesome was using his day off to visit his limo-ship, to get away from all the blacks and reds for a bit and to grab a few things while he was there, Hater had decided to tag along just because. Of course, the limo wasn’t nearly as cool as the Skull Ship, but it was still  _ pretty _ cool. It was only then that they ran into the pair of tigrexes - something completely unexpected to the skeletal lord, considering that he had completely missed them the last time he was on Awesome’s ship. “I didn’t even think you’d even be interested in having pets.”

“Eh, I wasn’t really,” Awesome admitted with a shrug, “But then this whole trend started around having exotic pets, and it turns out white tigrexes are totes rare. So, I picked up a couple, and found out that they were actually really cool. So, I decided to keep them.” Long after the exotic pets trend had ended, and even after the fashion forwards of the Galaxy decided that tigrex coats were in. (He had ended up ordering an imitation tigrex fur coat made out of Baaaahalian wool, figuring that his pets wouldn’t exactly appreciate him wearing one of their bros.) “‘Sides, it’s always a good idea to have a couple more sharp-toothed dudes on guard on your ship, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess. So, what are their names again?” Hater asked.

“Well, the one chillin’ on the floor is Stripey Bro, and-” He gave a small smirk, “The one sniffing you is Kitty Amazing.”

“Huh?” Hater swiftly turned his head, making the tigrex that was now right next to him flinch slightly. “Oh, uhhh… Hi?” he said, holding out his hand. Would it let him pet it, or-?

**_*CHOMP!*_ ** As soon as the white beast saw it, it chomped down on Hater’s hand. “H-Hey-!” Hater began to say, but to no avail. With little effort, Kitty Amazing managed to yank the rest of his arm right out of his joint! And the mischievous cat didn’t even look sorry about it, choosing instead to paw at the arm like it was a piece of meat. 

Awesome’s eyes widened. He prepared himself for another one of Hater’s tantrums, complete with yelling and lightning bolts… But to his surprise, all he heard was chuckles. 

“Heyyy,” Hater told it, giving the beast a playful glare, “Give that back, you!” He grabbed his arm and lightly pulled, enough to engage the tigrex without actually pulling the limb out of his mouth. Kitty Amazing swatted at him with its big paw, but that just made the skeleton giggle even more as he got off the couch and onto the floor, making it easier for them to play.

“...Huh.” Awesome smiled. He always knew Hatey was a total dork… But who knew ol’ Bonehead was such a softie to ALL big and ferocious animals and not just arachnomorphs?

“...Those are weird names for pets, by the way,” Hater told him as he began another round of tug-a-war with the tigrex.

“Tc’ch, says the guy who named his pet ‘Captain Tim’.”

“He was already a captain when I found him!”

“Now THAT, is weird.”


	13. Footloose

**13\. Footloose**

“You need to focus!” “I AM focusing!” “No, you’re being careless!” “Maybe if you’d stop sweatin’ the specifics-” “If you wanted to do your own fighting style without any regards to technique or effectiveness, then you shouldn’t have agreed to be trained as a soldier! Now, if you want to learn how to fight PROPERLY-”

Awesome groaned, wiping the sweat off his face. “Grop, man, you are SUCH a flarpin’ pain!”

Peepers simply glared back at him, ignoring the shark man’s growls. “The feeling’s mutual.” 

The two likely would’ve kept going at it if not for the small alert from Peepers’ belt. Taking out his communicator, the Commander sighed. “Great, now I have to go deal with this…” He glanced up at the private. “Do you think you can keep yourself busy practicing your forms for a few minutes.”

Awesome just scoffed, crossing his arms. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Peepers rolled his eye, but said nothing else as he left the training room. ...And, as soon as the little nerd was gone, Awesome went over to wear his hot pink and ocean blue gym bag sat. 

He could’ve just ditched the rest of the training session entirely, get the rest of the day to himself and deal with the nasally-voiced lecture later. ...However, as tempting as that was, he really did want to get stronger as well as become a better fighter. He wanted to guarantee that he would never be captured again. And, with Peepers being the second best fighter on the ship, he unfortunately didn’t have much of a choice.

Even so, the shark-man was still too frustrated to simply ‘practice his forms’. So, digging into his bag, he pulled out his MP3 player and earbuds. Turning the device on, he scrolled down to a playlist marked ‘Flarp EVERYTHING’. A playlist he had started as a teenager, yet still helped as an adult. Putting the earbuds in, he pressed play and turned the volume up as loud as it would go.

It was a song with plenty of guitar screeching - probably something more akin to what Hater would listen to - but still had a bit of synth, as well as a quick and heavy beat, which was exactly what Awesome needed. 

He started out just pacing, bobbing his head to the beat as he walked. Once he got a bit more into the song, he started moving his hips a bit, then his arms. His legs shimmied and bent on pure instinct as his dancing became a bit more wild.

He’d punch and kick at the air in-between other dance moves, doing spins, twirls, jumps, pirouettes, even a couple flips! And as the song got more intense, so did he. He didn’t think, he didn’t have a routine planned in his head, he didn’t even care if anyone was dancing. He just danced his hardest, gritting his teeth and letting the music completely take him over, until it finally faded out...

The next song only managed to play for a few seconds before Awesome shut it off, his body now much more relaxed. With a sigh, he yanked out his earbuds… and glanced over at the doorway. “Feeling better?” Peepers asked.

Judging by the commander’s tone, Awesome couldn’t tell if he really cared or not, but answered anyway. “Yeah, a little better.”

“Good.” Walking into the room, Peepers’ gaze on him never faltered. “You have talent, strength… Glorn knows you have passion. But those things will only get you so far. You also need technique, you need to know how to use your strength and passion to their fullest potential, and you definitely need to know how to strategize. Focusing only on hitting as many guys as you can as fast and hard as you can will just get you killed.”

“Yeah,” Awesome nodded, looking to the floor, “I know.”

“So… Are you ready to start again, private?”

That time, Awesome didn’t answer right away. Instead, he walked back over to his gym bag. He put his MP3 away, and grabbed his water bottle, taking several long sips from it. Peepers said nothing as he did this, standing and waiting patiently until the shark-man finished. He then walked back over to the center of the room, and got into a starting position.

“Yeah,” Awesome nodded, clenching his fists, “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both the title of this drabble and the content is just a big reference to Footloose and if you don't know what I mean, just go to Youtube and look up 'footloose warehouse dance scene', either version works. 
> 
> And yeah, I strongly believe that along with knowing ballet, Awesome totally dances out his frustrations when he gets REALLY angry, because he's that much of a dork, lol


	14. Improvement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another small reference to another one of my older WoY fics that technically isn't part of the arc but I still like in this one. This time it's 'Conventional Rerun'. You don't need to have read that one to understand this drabble, but if you decide to read it anyway, hope you like it! ^v^

**14\. Improvement**

“-Yeah, but you never know, Syl! Besides, when it comes to yummy snacks, you can never have too many!”

Sylvia scoffed a bit. “Yeah well, erg, I still think we may be pushing i- whoops.” She tried and failed to catch a bag of cheddar flavored popcorn that managed to slip out of her arms. Thankfully, Wander was still right in front of her and was able to grab it, adding it to his own armful of salty and sweet snacks. 

“Nahhh, especially if there’s a lot of extra guests like last time! Though, maybe next time we can just borrow Hater’s kitchen and make homemade snacks! We can make cupcakes and cookies, and there’s this one recipe I know with apples, blorpberries and- AWESOME!”

Sylvia blinked, peeking over her pile. “Awesome?”

“Heyyyyy!” Wander called out again, “Awesome! Over here!”

“Hm?” The shark-man looked down the hall, and sure enough saw a familiar pair of nomads looking back at him, with Wander trying his hardest to wave at him while still keeping his snacks from falling. “Heh, hey guys. What are you doing here?”

“Oh! Hater invited us to the premiere of another one of his cartoons!” Wander explained with a grin, “And I just know it’s gonna be the best episode yet!”

Awesome snickered. “Oh, really?” He had of course seen the original ‘propaganda film’ with the rest of the Galaxy, but it was only through the Watchdog grapevine that he had learned that Hater had actually been convinced to continue the series (despite some of its more embarrassing elements). 

It made sense, what with Hater’s current good reputation along with all the new fans of the cartoon itself - or ‘Bonies’ as they were called. A cartoon series showing the now infamous skeletal lord being awesome and defeating bad guys, all while he was actually defeating threats and helping rebuild planets in real life, just about guaranteed a ton of support for the Hater Empire. 

“Heh, speakin’ of which, we should get going!” Wander told him, his feet already moving again, “We’re in charge of the snacks. Plus, we wanna try to get a good seat! But hey, maybe if you’re not busy with your trainin’ and stuff you can check out the next premiere!”

Awesome smiled. He wasn’t much into cartoons, but at least Hatey’s was pretty entertaining, if not goofy as grop. “Maybe I will. Anyway, see you around, furball!” Wander smiled, giving him another half-wave and nearly dropping several bags of puppy chow and trail mix in the process as he turned a corner, leaving the hall with just Awesome and Sylvia standing in it. 

He looked at her, offering a small smile. Sylvia didn’t smile back. He could understand that - not exactly easy to smile at someone who trapped you in a gogo-dancer’s cage. Still, it didn’t make him feel any less nervous.

“...So, uh,” Awesome began to say, rubbing the back of his neck, “How you been, Bex?”

Sylvia immediately scowled. “That’s not my name.”

“It’s not? Oh, right. Uhhh…” He tried to think for a moment. “Um, Sarah? Or, Celine-”

“Sylvia,” she snapped, making him wince a bit.

“Right, my bad, brah. So,  _ Sylvia _ , how have you been?”

The Zbornak stared at him, then shrugged. “Can’t complain… But you seem to be looking better.” While they had been on the Skullship and had ran into Hater and Peepers a few times before now, this had been their first time running into Awesome in at least a four months. Last time she saw him, he was lying in sick bay, dehydrated and drowning in anger and bad decisions. 

What she saw standing in front of her was certainly an improvement, though even she had to admit that the Watchdog uniform looked a bit weird on the former emperor, even with it’s small alterations.

Maybe Awesome already knew this. He wasn’t standing confidently like he did at his parties, but he wasn’t exactly hiding away either. Calm, if just a little awkward, but not shy either. “Heh, yeah,” he answered quietly, glancing away for a moment, “Still dealin’ with grop but, yeah, I’m doing better.”

Sylvia watched him for a bit longer before nodding. “That’s good to hear. You may be a jerk, but even jerks deserve a second chance every once in a while.”

He smiled a bit, despite the insult - not like it wasn’t true back then. “Heh, thanks. I mean, what can I say? I’m just taking  some time to work on myself, you know? Figured I’d focus on my health instead of my rep.”

Sylvia blinked, and then slowly returned the smile. “Oh, so you CAN listen. It’s a miracle. And, I’m sure that makes your training sessions with Peepers a bit easier.”

“Tc’ch, yeah, they aren’t too bad.  _ Sometimes _ ,” the shark said with an eyeroll, “And other times it’s still a total flarpin’ pain.”

“And I can assure you he feels the same,” Sylvia retorted, “Though, it’s nice to know that neither of you have given up on this thing.” After a moment, she added, “Besides, you get use to the little eyesore eventually.”

Awesome chuckled again. “Heh, yeahhh. So uh, guess you should get going to your cartoon thing.”

“Ugh, yeah,” Sylvia nodded, adjusting the various bags in her arms once more, “If only so I can put all this stuff down…” She began to walk again, but then stopped. “...And hey, it’s like Wander said, if you ever wanna join us, feel free to do so.”

Awesome blinked. “...Thanks. ‘Preciate it, brah.” He then smirked. “And, heh, does that mean that maybe just the two of us could go-”

“Don’t push it, shark-breath. You STILL can’t handle this.”

He laughed, but backed off. “Alright, alright. Heh, see you around, Sylvia.” Sylvia nodded, and with that the two of them went their separate ways. And the more she walked, the more Sylvia was surprised at just how long her smile managed to stay on her face. 

Whether he ended up improving himself or not. she had still never expected to actually have a pleasant interaction with the obnoxiously garish and gross dude-bro emperor. Then again, several months ago, she never would’ve expected to consider a bratty, conquering skeletal lord and his nagging, nerdy eyeball-sidekick to ever be her friends - and just look at them all now. It would seem that the old saying was ringing true now more than ever these days:

An enemy was just a friend you haven’t made yet.


	15. Prank

**15\. Prank**

The door slammed open, making Hater jump slightly. “What the-?”

“HIDE ME,” Awesome said, shutting the door behind him. Wide-eyed and panicked, he dove under Hater’s bed, not caring if the skeleton was already sitting on it. But even if he could no longer see the private, Hater still gave him a flat look.

“It’s your own fault, you know.” Despite its vast size, news traveled fast on the Skullship - as did warnings. Whenever Lord Hater or (in this case) a certain commander was really angry, EVERYONE knew to steer clear.

“Yeah, yeah,” a slightly muffled voice grumbled from the floor, “Gropgropgrop… Just shut up, okay?!” From down the hall, they could hear several pairs of Watchdog feet running, followed by another slamming of a door and a shrill voice yelling. “And don’t tell him I’m here!”

“He’s going to find you eventually,” Hater told him as he unpaused his video game, “Stop being a baby and just get what’s coming to you already!”

Poking his head out just long enough to shoot Hater a glare, Awesome retorted with, “Tc’ch, yeah right! Easy for you to say, dude, you’re not the one he’s after!” 

“Oh come on, I make Peepers angry all the time without even trying to! It’s not a big deal!” By this point, Hater had definitely gotten used to his commander’s scoldings and screeching. Though, being dragged by the lightning-bolt horned to his room was still annoying, but certainly not fatal. 

Hearing more noise coming towards the lord’s bedroom, Awesome quickly ducked back under the bed. “Yeah well, I’m pretty sure he’s, like, legit going to kill me so, yeah, I’m just gonna chill here for a while.”

Hater rolled his eyes, taking a moment to blast away a couple digital enemies. “He’s not going to kill you, he’s still in the middle of training you. No way is he going to waste all this work just cause he’s mad.”

“...You know, dude, surprisingly that doesn’t make me feel better.” As the ruckus got closer, Awesome quickly shushed himself, praying to grop that Hater would just be a bro for once.

For the second time that day, Hater’s door was slammed open. Peepers peered into the room, his eye still burning red and stinging from the unexpected salt (both literally and figuratively) from that morning. Though, by the looks of it, it did nothing to slow the Commander down. He looked around the room on his own before setting his eye on Hater. “Sir…” He said slowly, calm like the center of a storm, “Where-?”

“Under my bed,” Hater stated, not even looking up from the screen.

_ “Dude!” _ Awesome shouted, unable to help himself, “Ugh, man, you are such a flarpin’ trai-EEK!” A tiny gloved fist reached under the bedding, dragging Awesome out and giving him nowhere to hide from the pure, unadulterated fury staring down at him. 

“Well?!” Peepers spat, as if daring the shark-man to try and make up some excuse.

Slowly, Awesome gave a shaky smile. “Heh… I-It was just a prank, bro?” he squeaked.

“GRRRRRRRR!” The Commander’s fist clenched his blaster tightly - still set to stun, though Awesome wouldn’t have been surprised if he had decided to switch it to ‘kill’. Not even waiting to see where Peepers would aim his weapon, Awesome dashed out from under the bed and out into the hall where he began sprinting as fast as he could, screaming all the while.

“YEAH YOU’D BETTER RUN!” Peepers yelled at his private before he began chasing after him, “Cause after this little ‘warm-up’, you’re MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME, PRIVATE?! Push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, weights, sparring, heavy bags, holographic training in scorching AND freezing environments, AND I’M SURE I CAN FIND A FEW TOILETS FOR YOU TO CLEAN TOO! WE’RE NOT STOPPING UNTIL YOU’RE  **REALLY** SWEATING!”

“Hmph, or until his eye stops stinging,” Hater added before smiling at his game, “Aww yeah! Final level!”

That day, Awesome learned a very important lesson: Messing with Peepers was fun, and small pranks on him was usually fairly harmless…

But you never,  _ ever, _ **EVER** mess with his coffee.


	16. Teeth

**16\. Teeth**

“-And so, because of all the sudden black holes, our next stop on Muskalla 7 will be postponed by an extra week. There have also been reports of space pirates in the area, and while we clearly have superior firepower and numbers, we still need to be on our guard! So, I’m schedule extra weapon checks and cleanings, as well as doubling the number of guards each shift. Now, in terms of what to expect from these pirates-”

“Ack…” 

Peepers stopped. He turned to look back at the table behind him that consisted of Lord Hater, a dozen or so Watchdogs, and- He narrowed his eye. “Something to add, Private Awesome?”

“Huh?” Awesome glanced up, though he didn’t stop rubbing his cheek. “Oh, no. Keep going, man, you’re good.”

“Hmph, very well...” The Commander turned back towards his presentation, clearing his throat. However, no sooner than when he continued did he hear Awesome let out another small groan. Growling, Peepers turned back around. “Am I boring you, Private-?” He then gave an indignant look at the shark-man as he watched him pull his hand out of his mouth.

“Tc’ch, not really a matter of boredom, bro,” Awesome told him, wincing slightly though not at Peepers’ glare (which, if anything, just made Peepers even more annoyed), “I’m just kinda in the middle of doing something here, but trust me, it’s no big-”

“If you’re more interested in your personal dental hygiene than the plan then perhaps you should just leave!” Peepers shot back. 

“Aw come on, Peepsqueak, I’m just-” “Well, DO you need to leave, Private?” Peepers asked, putting his hands on his hips. Everyone at the table, including Hater, looked back at Awesome, wondering what his next move would be.

“...Okay, just give me one second,” Awesome insisted before sticking his hand back in his mouth. Fuming at this point, Peepers started to yell - then stopped when he saw Awesome yank a tooth right out of his mouth, making several other Watchdogs flinch. “Awww yeah, there we go,” he said, grinning with relief at the sharp tooth before tossing it over his shoulder. “Okay, so, space pirates?”

Peepers didn’t answer. He, along with everyone at the table, just kept staring at him. Whether it was in amazement or disgust, Awesome wasn’t sure. Though, considering that Hater looked like he was about to gag, he could assume it was the latter. “What? That tooth’s been loose like for a month!” he told them, “And it’ll grow back in about a month too. In the meantime though, I’ve got like three more rows of these babies to spare. So yeah, like I said, no big deal.”

“...Well, with that out of the way,” Peepers said, turning back to the board, “Let’s get back to what we can expect from most space pirates. Now, as I was saying, it’s important to not just know their weaponry, but common strategies too-”

“So, hey,” Awesome whispered, leaning towards the Watchdog sitting next to him, “Do you guys even  _ have  _ teeth? Cause, like, I know you’re able to eat and stuff, but-”

“AS I WAS _SAYING-!_ ” Peepers repeated, practically shouting.

“Okay okay, geez,” Awesome mumbled, leaning back over into his seat, “Sue a guy for just being curious.”


	17. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, these drabbles aren't really set at certain points in time. However, this one sorta connects to 'Late Nights and Tired Eyes', 'The Simulation' AND 'The Cool Guy(s)', so it at least takes place after all of those stories. ...Also, just by word count, this drabble is probably the closest out of all of them to being an actual oneshot. Anyway, enjoy!

**17\. Questions**

“...So, what made you decide to be a good guy?”

Hater looked up from the pancakes that he was currently trying to drown in syrup, and gave Awesome a bit of a scowl. “I told you before, I’m not a good guy.”

“But you’re not much of a bad guy either,” Awesome lightly retorted, leaning on the table.

“Well, I’m not a super goody-two-shoes good guy, at least. I’m just… Better. You know?”

“Okay…” Awesome paused the conversation just long enough to eat a couple spoonfuls of his eggs and bacon before continuing. “Then fine, what made you decide to be better?”

At that, Hater could only shrug. “I don’t even remember when I decided. It just sort of happened. A lot of people in the Galaxy liked me now and wanted to work with me and, after a while, I wanted to work with them too.”

“So, you don’t miss being a bad guy?” Awesome asked, lazily stirring his cereal now, “You like being a ‘better’ guy more?”

“Not all the time,” Hater admitted, “Sometimes when I’m angry or annoyed, I wish I could just go back to how it used to be. Just land on some planet, go ‘RAHHHH!’, shoot some lightning while Peepers leads the troops, and call it a day.” Finally satisfied with how his breakfast looked, he took a couple bites of it. “Mm, but… Even that got boring after a while. And sometimes doing things this way isn’t too bad...” 

He had a lot more fans now. More popularity, more friends… And it wasn’t like it was all boring business stuff. Sometimes it was fun, just hanging out with other rulers without having to threaten them for an invite or using his powers to defend a planet while its people sang his praises. He didn’t feel as angry, usually, and he still felt like himself. That felt like the most important part to him. He was still Hater, but he was also… happy? Yeah. He was happy. Not a completely perfect or easy life, but still a happy one. 

Hater swallowed his bite. “Yeah, I guess I do like being better… better.”

Awesome smiled a bit. “Man… Dude, I still sorta can’t believe that out of all of us villains, you were the one that ended up being the hero of the Galaxy. Definitely the Greatest now, eh?”

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it!” Hater snapped, nearly poking Awesome on the snout with his sticky fork, but Awesome just chuckled. “So-” he turned back to his plate, stabbing several pieces for a big, sweet bite, “Any other questions, or are you just going to keep interrupting me while I try to eat?”

“...How did it feel to defeat her?”

Hater stopped. Looking up, he could see that Awesome was being genuine.

“...It was amazing,” Hater told him, stating a fact rather than boasting, “I had never felt more powerful or stronger in my whole life. ...But it was also terrifying, because it almost didn’t happen.”

Awesome swallowed, suddenly not having much of an appetite. Hater continued to eat his own breakfast in silence. “You should ask Wander or Sylvia to tell you the whole story if you really want to know it,” he told him as he stood up from the table.

Watching him walk away, Awesome nodded to himself. “Yeah, maybe I will… One day.”

\---------

“What made you want to team up with Hatey anyway?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Peepers said, not even looking up from his paperwork. Awesome shook his head. Such a workaholic, couldn’t even take a lunch break without bringing work with him. Though, he supposed that was better than skipping meals completely.

“Gotta be at least a couple reasons, Peepsqueak,” Awesome retorted, making it evident that he wasn’t just going to drop it.

“Ugh, well… He was powerful. Even when he was younger and less experienced, he was powerful. Strong too, and tall, and… frankly, intimidating, especially when he got angry. Overall, he just screamed ‘villain potential’ and I knew I needed a partner if I wanted to have any success at all in galactic domination. So, he was it. I figured I could guide him and control him, and with someone that powerful by my side along with all my intellect - heh, well, how could I ever lose?”

“Buuuut you didn’t count on the bonehead being such a loose cannon, huh Peepsqueak?” Awesome teased with a smirk, “Heh, still, you guys did pretty well.”

“That we did,” Peepers nodded, looking a bit proud with no hint of bitterness what so ever. They had been a great team - heck, they were STILL a great team! And friends… Who would’ve thought they’d actually end up being friends and not just business partners? Though, the Commander was big enough to admit, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing…

“Hey, you ever think about going solo eventually?” Awesome asked before taking a bite of his sandwich. Thanks to the late night talk that they’d had forever ago, he knew that Peepers was at least a little worried about Hater eventually outgrowing him, and he also knew that Peepers wasn’t exactly thrilled with the ‘not-so-evil’ direction that the empire was going down. So, why not go solo?

“...Well, I have thought about it a few times,” Peepers admitted, “Hmph, and technically I did go solo once. Flankar 5? And remember how  _ that _ turned out?

Swallowing his bite of tuna, Awesome winced. “Yeah, that was uh… That was maybe a bit harsh on my part.”

“Actually, I was referring to the part where you got your tail fin handed to you on a silver platter by Hater,” Peepers said coolly.

“Oh haha, hilarious, bro.” But okay, maybe he deserved that. “But you know, if we’re being for real here.... I think you could totally do it. ‘Specially with that big nerdy brain of yours. Just build yourself a threatening looking mech or hologram or whatevs and you’d be set!”

“I could,” Peepers nodded, “I could also simply work for another villain, or even simply allow myself and my plans to be commissioned if I didn’t want to pledge loyalty to any one group. But…” But, whether he liked it or not, power and glory were no longer his main goals. 

Somewhere in the food court, Peepers could hear Hater ranting loudly about something, and he smiled to himself. He also scolded himself somewhat. This was the same skeleton man that fired him over something that wasn’t even his fault, and yet when searching for new jobs, only saline tester had peaked his interest. ...This was also the same man who had started building statues of him to go along side the Hater ones, and who Peepers knew would always defend him if someone else ever tried knocking him down.

“But, I think I’m happy here for now,” Peepers told him finally, his gaze slowly returning back to the various order forms and plan outlines that laid beside his salad and unsalted fries, “Ask me again when I no longer have any work here. Hmph, or the next time me and him have a big blow-up. But for now? I’m good.”

Awesome didn’t say anything to that, not at first. He just watched the Commander work and occasionally eat, a bit tired yet satisfied, still finding nuggets of enjoyment, stimuli and satisfaction in even the most basic of paperwork. 

After a few minutes of this, Awesome slammed his water bottle down, once again getting Peepers attention. “Hey, wanna go out sometime?”

Peepers blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Peeps, bruh, you need to have something other than work,” the shark explained, “And not just in the case of Hatey ever outgrowing you or you not having a job anymore - cause trust me, dude, that’s never gonna happen - but for when you just need a break from all this-” He gestured to the paperwork, and then to the rest of the food court- “Even if it’s just for a little while. So, you and I need to go out, and find you something else to do that’s not work, got it?”

Peepers looked at him, as if to make sure he wasn’t just pulling some prank, before once again turning his gaze back to the paperwork. “I have several unread books in my room. Books about historical battles and wars, strategies, theories, weaponry schematics. Some of them I’ve had for so long they’re nearly outdated, though I still plan on reading them eventually. And then there’s my violin, an occasional hobby but an enjoyable one nonetheless. The Zbornak also tends to keep me company whenever she and Wander are trespassing and…” He paused trying to hide his smile the best he could, “She’s alright, I suppose.”

“Huh.” Awesome smiled back at him. “So you don’t just work 24/7. Good to know. Though, I gotta say, was not expecting the violin thing, bro. Didn’t think a science nerd like you would even care about the Arts.”

“Hmph, then you’d  _ really _ be surprised about my collection of broadway soundtracks and showtunes,” Peepers stated, and then snorted when Awesome just gaped at him. “I’ve got plenty of other things in my life, Awesome. Other interests and small hobbies - I just prefer to dedicate most of my time and energy to the things I care about the most. But still, thank you for the thought, Private. I… appreciate the concern.”

“Heh, no prob, Peeps,” Awesome nodded, smiling lightly as he opened up his bag of chips.

“...We’re still totally going out sometime though, at least to karaoke. I gotta hear you sing one of those showtunes now.” “Then  _ you  _ had better be buying the drinks.” “Deal.” 

\--------------

“...Are they the same each time?”

Awesome looked up from his cup of seaweed tea, too frazzled to even care that he was drinking his guilty pleasure drink in front of others. “H-Huh?”

“The nightmares,” Hater specified, “Are, are they the same each time?”

The food court was dark. Only a couple of the lights that hung above the tables were on, acting as small spotlights that could guide nightshift guards and late-night snackers alike. They were the only ones there though, and with how quiet and peaceful it was, it almost felt like they were the only ones on the entire ship. 

Hater and Peepers sat across from him, Hater in his usual pinstripe nightgown with a mug of cocoa, and Peepers still in his uniform with a fresh cup of coffee. Neither of them took their eyes off him. 

“It… I-It just kind of depends, you know?” Awesome finally answered, his voice as fragile as glass, “I mean, there- there are similar things but, but different things too, so… Y-Yeah.”

“And what do you see the most?” Peepers asked. When he saw Awesome shrink into himself a bit, he insisted, “You don’t have to tell us everything. Glorn knows we don’t want you having another panic attack-”

“ _ I’ll be fine, _ ” the shark insisted through barred teeth, his cup shaking now. Neither one of them argued, but he knew they didn’t believe him either. Out of all the nightmares he’d had on the Skullship, this one had definitely been one of the worst. He had actually been  _ screaming _ as he thrashed about before being woken up. But even so- “I’m fine,” he choked out again, ignoring the wetness in his eyes.

“...You’re not fine, Awesome,” Hater told him, “But you are safe here, alright? You’re safe.”

Peepers nodded. “Completely safe. But, maybe talking about it and finding some sort of relief could help  _ you  _ feel safe.”

“...” Awesome bit his lip slightly as he looked down into his green liquid. He didn’t care how it’d make him feel. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to THINK about it! He just wanted to forget, pretend it never even happened. ...Unfortunately, after several months, it was pretty obvious that this strategy wasn’t working. And, if it would get him on the path to finally ending the nightmares once and for all… What was that thing the furball had said to him when he first arrived on the Skullship?

_ “Talkin’ about stuff is usually better than keeping it all bottled up, or tryin’ to forget when forgettin’s easier said than done, don’t ya think?” _

“...Heat,” he said quietly, not willing to look away from his tea, “T-There’s always heat. And, and I’m trapped. In a, in a cell, a cell or, or l-la-lava-” 

“You’re safe,” Peepers gently told him while Hater got the teapot. Once his cup was refilled, Awesome chugged it like there was no tomorrow. It was nearly a full three minutes before he spoke again. “There are different things that happen… Different places, or beginnings. Different things that  _ she _ says o-or, or does… But, but I’m always warm. I’m always burned, a-and I’m always trapped.”

That was where he left it, and neither Hater nor Peepers pressed him for anymore details. They didn’t know what Dominator did to him in those few weeks that he had been trapped on her ship. All they knew was what she did to him after his disastrous flirting/team-up attempt, and frankly, the more they thought about it, the more horrifying even that little bit became.

“...The holo-training room has an ocean setting, you know,” Peepers spoke up, “I’m sure that you’d prefer an actual ocean, but unfortunately the closest one is at least five hundred lightyears away, but… at least it’d feel bigger than the pool.”

“Yeah,” Hater nodded, “And there are other safe, wide-open settings in that thing too. We just, you know, have to take the holo-enemies out of them first but, still, the settings are there. So… Yeah.”

Awesome stared at them. Grop… Were these really his rivals? His ex-enemies? It was almost ridiculous in a way, how much they had all changed… But in that moment, he was certainly glad they had. .

“So?” Peepers asked, “Want to give it a try?”

Awesome took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a moment before opening them again, and giving his new two allies a small smile. 

“Yeah… Okay.”


	18. Remix

**18\. Remix**

“Come on, Peeps! Just listen to it!” “I told you Awesome, I’m not interested!” “Dude, it’s a really short track, I swear!”

Peepers groaned shaking his head. “I’m not going to listen to that cacophony of headache-inducing noise that you call music just because you say it’s good! Now get out of my room!”

“Tc’ch, you are so lame,” Awesome scowled, crossing his arms, “There isn’t even that much dubstep in it! It’s just a little remix that I wanted you to hear! Just give it a shot and then I promise I’ll leave you alone, kay?”

“...You swear?” Peepers asked, glancing back over at him.

“On my high heeled boots collection.”

The Commander sighed. “Alright, fine. Let’s hear it.”

Awesome grinned. “Sweetness~! Okay-” He got out his MP3 player, selected the track, made sure the volume was at the loudest setting, and then pressed ‘play’. Just as Peepers had expected, the track was nothing more than a garbled mess of electronic beats and a thick bass. Although, the subtle melody that he could pick out did sound somewhat familiar…

He squinted his eye a bit as he pondered… Just what was this song? Something from the radio? No, too simple. Maybe a dance track from one of Awesome’s parties? Maybe it was even one of those ridiculous little ditties that Wander seemed to sing all the time. Whatever it was, it just sounded so familiar and it was starting to drive him crazy-!

And that’s when it hit him. He recognized the melody just as it dropped out and a robotic voice spoke:

**_“Commander Peep-errrrrrs~!”_ **

The music came back in, and Awesome gave a small laugh. “Man, LOVE that part! So, Peeps, what do you-?”

“That is MY THEME SONG!” Peepers screeched, “And you just-! I can’t believe-! THIS IS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, MISTER! And you had better have a good lawyer!”

“...Wait, you seriously put a copyright on your theme song?” Awesome blinked as he turned the song off, “Just… Wow. Anyway, remixes totally fall under fair use, bruh.”

Peepers groaned, rubbing his eye in frustration. “Awesome I swear to grop I had better not hear that version of MY theme song ever again, or that MP3 player of yours is going straight into the garbage incinerator.”

“Alright, fine.” Whatever, he already got what he wanted out of all of this anyway. “I was just trying to make your song sound cooler, give it a bit more style.”

“And to annoy me,” Peepers accused, giving the private a flat look.

“...And to totally annoy you, yeah,” he admitted.

“Ugh. Just get back to work.” Though, before Awesome could leave the small bedroom and Peepers could get back to his daily assignments, he added, “I sure hope you didn’t remix Lord Hater’s theme song, because I can guarantee you that he would be more angry about it than I was.”

“Nah,” Awesome insisted, “I didn’t touch it. Songs with a ton of guitar are kinda hard to remix anyway.” He then smirked to himself. Maybe he couldn’t remix Hatey’s theme song… But he DID find something better…

On the other side of his ship, Hater was returning to his room. He hadn’t really done much that morning, but he was still very much in a ‘stay in his room and do whatever he wanted’ mood. So, he grabbed some ice cream from his minifridge, turned on his game system, and got ready to sit down-

“...Hmm, maybe some music too,” he mumbled to himself. Yeah, some loud rock music would really help him relax, not to mention get him in the mood to obliterate any and all digital enemies he came across! So, reaching into his cloak, he pulled out the remote for his giant stereo, and pressed ‘ON’ as he sat down on his bed.

Naturally, Hater had been expecting the usual guitar screeches and banging drums. But instead of a rock and roll classic, or even one of the few hip-hop tracks he had downloaded, the only thing he could hear from his speakers was… a xylophone with a funky beat alongside it?

Hater raised an eyebrow. “What the-?”

_“Spooky scary skeletons, send shivers down your spine! Shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight! Spooky scary skeletons, speak with such a screech! You'll shake and shudder in surprise, when you hear these zombies shriek!”_

“...GrrrrrRRRRRRR!” Standing up, Hater made sure to shout as loud as he could, for he knew that somewhere on his ship, a certain shark-man was laughing his butt off.

“AWESOOOOOOME!!!!”


	19. Wound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for a mention of blood, though it's nothing too major or descriptive

**19\. Wound**

As he opened his eyes, the familiar tan walls of the Skullship Sick Bay quickly came into focus. “Ugh,” he groaned. He could feel a bit of pain, though he wasn’t quite sure from where just yet. Whatever, he’d focus on that later. Right now he just wanted to try and remember what had happened.

Let’s see, they were on some planet doing… something. Tc’ch, yeah, that narrowed it down. Okay okay, just focus. Planet, mission… Some kind of explosion, maybe? Like an ambush? Yeah… Yeah, there was an ambush! All because of-!

He groaned, rolling his eyes as he remembered. “The stupid evil sandwich…” One of the few villains that hadn’t simply retired or gone into hiding - most likely because the biggest competition at the moment was also someone who Sourdough wanted revenge against. And, with a little under a thousand years to try and get it, why give up now?

“Oh good. While it seemed very unlikely, I was hoping you wouldn’t have amnesia. It’d be a pain to try and retrain you considering all the work we’ve done on improving your fighting and defense skills. Not to mention it’d just be a cliche.”

Awesome snickered. “Gee, I’m so glad you care,” he said as he glanced over at the Commander in the corner, a clipboard already in his hands. 

“How are you feeling?” Peepers asked, his tone professional and his eye reading over the doctor’s notes.

Awesome shrugged, still a bit tired. “Well, I am hurtin’ a little,” he answered, “And-” As he tried to sit up, the shark felt a sudden sharp pain in his side, making him cry out.

“Be careful!” Peepers scolded, rushing over to the private now, “Don’t rip your stitches!” “I have stitches?” “YES!” With a huff, Peepers looked back at the clipboard. “What else can you remember?”

“Well, running from those lame beefeaters, for one.” Though, while their starched and stuffy-looking outfits were totally uncool, Sourdough’s men were still pretty well armed. “Me and everyone else were just running towards the ship, hoping to get some cover before we tried fighting back.” When no other memories came to him in that moment, Awesome looked back over at Peepers. “I take it my fight didn’t go too hot?”

Peepers scoffed. “You didn’t even make it to the fight. You were hit during your retreat.”

Eyes widening a bit, Awesome slowly looked down at his bandaged side. Even with the dark fabric, he could still sort of see the dried blood still on him. He could also start to remember his escape - how he had been running, completely focused on reaching safety and, when he had felt something pinch his side slightly, he had ignored it. Heck, he had even managed to direct the Watchdogs a bit, telling them where to go since he had a better vantage point than them.

It was only when he had stopped running did the pain really start to kick in… He could remember eyes staring at him in shock. Lots of shouting - with a shrill, nasally voice being the loudest of them all. He could remember the pain, but not any sort of fear or worry. Though, that could’ve been because he probably passed out at some point, simply too out of it to be afraid. He was fine with that though, he’d had enough trauma to last a lifetime.

“It wasn’t a deep hit, nor was it near any major arteries, luckily,” Peepers continued to explain, “Being a hit from a laser blaster rather than a traditional gun and bullet probably helped as well, though all your movement and high heart-rate still caused you to lose quite a bit of blood.”

Awesome thought about this, then shrugged again. “Well then, thanks for making sure I didn’t bleed out, Peepsqueak.”

“It was a simple enough job,” the Commander retorted. Though, he added in a slightly softer tone, “Still, you got lucky.”

“Tc’ch, no doubt.” Sighing, he stretched out a bit in his hospital bed. “Welp, how long am I stuck here?” 

“Two days of bed-rest minimum, according to your doctor. By that point, we should’ve caught up with Sourdough’s fleet.” After all, there was still one other person in the Galaxy that Sourdough wanted to destroy with vengeance. But Hater was as protective of the wandering weirdo as he was in denial of ‘like-liking’ him, and an ambush certainly wasn’t enough to slow an army of their size down. 

“You’re welcome to join in on the fight, though I’d suggest taking a spot in one of our defense lines rather than in the battlefield, at least for now,” Peepers continued, “You could use some more practice with aiming and using some of our more stronger blasters anyway.”

“Works for me,” Awesome nodded before giving a small yawn. Maybe taking it easy for a day or so wasn’t too bad of an idea. So, he settled into his bed, stretching his arm over his chest and lightly brushing his hand against his bandages.

Figuring that there was nothing else the shark needed, Peepers began to make his leave. He still had plans to create with his lord, he couldn’t babysit a private all day, especially when his injuries weren’t too serious.

...Even so, the Commander still stopped when he heard Awesome speak once more. 

“You know what’s weird? Getting shot doesn’t hurt nearly as much as being burned.”

Peepers didn’t say anything at first, though he did glance back at him. Thankfully, Awesome seemed to be alright. No signs of panic, he didn’t even look upset. He was just stating a simple observation.

“It makes sense,” Peepers finally replied, “Being shot doesn’t injure nearly as much skin, and as I said your wound wasn’t too deep, not to mention the fact that apparently it was such a minor occurrence that you didn’t even feel its effect until minutes later.”

Awesome closed his eyes, shrugging slightly before putting his other arm behind his head. “Eh, fair enough, I guess.” 

He didn’t say anything else and neither did Peepers, though the latter did stay and watch the private for just a moment longer before finally making his leave.


	20. Dance Lessons

**20\. Dance Lessons**

“Okay, what are you even-? No! Dude, I- Why are you hopping?!”

“I’m not hopping, I’m DANCING!”

“No, you’re hopping,” Awesome insisted, holding back a sigh. “Look, you don’t need to hop or jump or whatever to make your dancing cooler, okay? Because it’s definitely not helping.”

Hater growled. “I just have my own style, okay?! Just because you were great at throwing parties and winning dance contests doesn’t mean you’re the ultimate expert on what is and isn’t dancing, you know!”

Awesome opened his mouth to argue, then stopped. “...You’re right. You’ve got your own style, just like I’ve got mine, and I gotta respect that.”

“Hmph.” Crossing his arms, Hater nodded. “That’s right.”

“However,” Awesome said slowly, “You should maaaaybe brush up on the basics before you start developing your own moves, you know?”

The skeleton scowled, but he didn’t immediately go on the defensive again. He had brought Awesome in to give him a few dancing pointers. He had another galactic rulers party to attend in less than a week. He could dance fairly well with a partner and not step on their feet, but when it came to dancing on his own… Well, his moves weren’t exactly ‘smooth’. And, given that he would be attending this party as himself and not Schmater, he wanted his dancing to be as impressive as it could be.

“...And just what are these ‘basics’?” Hater finally asked.

Awesome smiled. Picking up his MP3 player, he turned up the volume, figuring that it would help. “Well, for starters, you’ve gotta stay on tempo, dude.” He stood still for a moment before beginning to move and shimmy his feet, taking a step with each beat of the song. “Yeah, you’re not waltz’in or anything, but if you’re trying to do an actual routine or be impressive with your moves, you gotta at least follow the beat.”

“Follow the beat…” Furrowing his brow in concentration, Hater began to mimic Awesome’s moves. It was strange to see the light-footed shark doing such a basic dance, even if Hater was glad that he could actually follow it.

“There you go!” Awesome nodded, “You wanna keep your arms pretty close to you too, just for balance. You can move them a bit though-” he pumped his arms slightly to demonstrate as he continued to move his feet. “And once you’ve got the hang of it, you can start poppin’ and lockin’ your arms. Put those boney joints of yours to good use, bonehead!”

“Like this?” Hater asked as he began doing the Robot.

Awesome winced. “Er… sort of. But uh, really you just want to focus on your timing for now. And when it comes to dancing, your most important parts are your legs and your hips. Keep those moving and you’re golden, bruh.” After a moment, he then smirked. “Uhh, quick correction, there are THREE important body parts when it comes to dancing. Legs, hips, and last but not least~” He began to turn around-

“ _ Stop _ ,” Hater said, shooting him a glare. 

Awesome laughed. “Alright, alright.” Whatever. He’d just save his booty shakin’ for someone who appreciated it. “But seriously, once you’ve got your feet warmed up and the tempo in your head, feel free to mix it up a little. I mean, don’t be hoppin’ or jumpin’ - save that for a mosh pit or a dance-off - but you are allowed to do more than just step.”

To demonstrate, Awesome did a couple slides and foot taps in between a few steps, ending the quick routine with a spin. “Got it?”

“Yeah! I mean, I’m pretty sure-” He attempted to mimic Awesome’s moves, even throwing in a couple extra steps.

“Not bad, Hatester! Not bad at all!” They’d have to work on the whole ‘don’t look at your feet while dancing’ thing but overall, the guy was making some progress. “Oh! Dude, I’ve gotta another move for ya, and this one’s gonna knock the socks off whatever hottie you’re trying to impress! Remember what I said about the hips~?”

Down the hall, Peepers was going over their latest plans for a few Hater Empire moon bases/sanctuary shelters as he walked, wanting to make sure the final drafts were all in order before getting approval and being put into action. “Frankly I still don’t understand why we can’t make it _ just  _ a military base to help keep nearby planets in line,” he mumbled to himself, “But, at least something like this is still good for our image-”

“Awww yeah~ THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!”

Peepers blinked, suddenly noticing the music - music that was a far cry from the usual rock and roll he heard coming from his lord’s bedroom - along with the familiar voice. “Make sure you really get into it though! You gotta own it! Thrust like you mean it!”

Pupil shrinking, the Commander let himself silently scream for a moment before racing towards the music. When he arrived at the doorway, he was grateful that what he saw wasn’t nearly as bad as what he was thinking. Though, in his opinion at least, it was still fairly… disturbing.

Not noticing their one-man audience at all, Awesome and Hater continued to stand across from each other, legs spread as they gyrated their hips to the beat of the obnoxious EDM blasting from the giant speakers. 

“Hmph, told you I knew how to dance!” Hater insisted, giving a smug smirk as he began to pump his arms in time with his hips.

“Heh, definitely getting there~” Awesome grinned, “Just wait until I show you how to twerk like a pro!”

“Fine, but you better teach me how to breakdance too! I wanna REALLY impress everyone!” “No prob, bro!”

“...” Closing his eye and taking a deep breath, Peepers turned on his heel and walked away the pair of dancing fools, figuring that the plans could easily wait until much, MUCH later. “Just keep walking, Peepers. Just. Keep. Walking.”


	21. Selfie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for alcohol mention in this chapter. Also, I could see this drabble taking place shortly before the start of 'Sink or Swim'. Relating to that, I think this is a good place to stop this series, at least for now. That being said, if I come up with an idea for a drabble that I really like - or heck, if I get request for drabbles that I really like - I'll definitely try to write them out and post them. But for now, I'm gonna call this part of the Awesome Arc finished. Enjoy! ^v^ (and I hope you like the bit of art that I made for this drabble as well)

**21\. Selfie**

“No.”

“Aww, come on, man!”

“No-!” “Peepers just do it already!” “Ugh, Sir! This is ridiculous!”

Awesome scoffed while Hater just rolled his eyes. “Oh really? And just what is so ‘ridiculous’ about taking a quick celebration selfie?” the shark asked.

“Well, for starters, what we’re ‘celebrating’ is only a half victory for you,” Peepers stated, his flat expression quickly turning into a scowl as he recalled that afternoon. With Hater’s help, Awesome had finally managed to convince Peepers to have a fun night out with them. However, the Commander had some conditions and restrictions. “You can’t exactly call it a ‘night out’ if we’re still on the ship, confined to some random spare room.”

“Eh, still getting you out of the office, Peeps?” Awesome grinned, leaning back on the old couch, “I’d totes call that a victory~”

“Ugh, whatever. I’m still not taking a selfie with you.”

“But it’ll be with Hatey too! I KNOW you’ve taken selfies with him!” Peepers continued to glare at the private, but he didn’t argue with a true fact.

“And it’s not THAT big of a deal, Peepers!” Hater added, “It’s just a dumb picture! It’s not even going to go online or anything! Right, Awesome?”

“Considering that I haven’t even post any pics of myself in, like, forever? Definitely not.” His smile softened a bit as he glanced back at the Commander. “It’ll be for my personal selfie collection only. Like I said, it’s marking something that’s worth celebrating.”

“...Fine,” Peepers said, tone still a bit reluctant, “Let’s just get this over with so we can get the rest of this non-outing over with.” Though, as he thought of all the paperwork and fill-in-the-blank forms awaiting him in his office, he couldn’t help but think that an hour or so off and a couple drinks wasn’t TOO bad of an idea. 

It took a few minutes for the three of them to figure out their ‘pose’, wanting to get a good shot of everyone while also not wanting to be too close to one another or look too goofy. Eventually, they settled on Awesome in the center, Hater right next to him, and Peepers hanging off Awesome’s shoulder (since he refused to sit on the shark’s shoulder, and simply sitting on the couch would put him too low in the frame). 

“Make sure the stupid flash is off!” Hater told him as he got his smile ready.

“Got it, bruh,” Awesome nodded, quickly switching it off, “Alright… One, two-!”

_ *click!* _

_ _

“There. Are we done?” Peepers asked, letting go of Awesome’s shoulder.

“Juuuust a sec…” Still grinning a bit, Awesome quickly added a few stickers to the photo, giving it the finishing touch. “Heh, awesome~”

With that out of the way, Hater shot off the couch and eagerly grabbed the karaoke machine that Awesome’s butler had brought over. “I call the first song!”

“Tc’ch, take it, bro,” Awesome told him as he began opening up a bottle of Thunderblazz. Karaoke wasn’t really his thing but, hey, at least it wasn’t lame. Besides, he was still curious about Peepers’ supposed singing skills and showtune knowledge.

Speaking of which- Setting his own bottle down, Awesome poured a glass of wine for the little eyesore, winking as he handed it to him.

Of course, Peepers just scoffed, though accepted the drink nonetheless. (He was annoyed by the situation, but he wasn’t rude.) “Remember, I’m only doing this for an hour. An hour and a half, at most.” Or until Hater became distracted enough for him leave, whichever came first.

“Whatever you say, Peepsqueak. Just don’t be surprised if you actually end up having a good time.” “Hmph, I doubt it.”

Three hours, six bottles of Thunderblazz, some cocktails and nearly a whole bottle of wine later, and they had completely abandoned the idea of taking turns when it came to songs, being more than happy to sing at the same time (even if there was only one microphone).

Awesome was attempting to sing the right words, though his voice was so slurred and off-key that it didn’t really matter what he was trying to sing. Frankly, he was concentrating more on trying to dance on - and not falling off of - the coffee table.

Peepers was standing on the back of the couch, singing his lungs out. He’d also try to sing every note as high as it could go, whether or not it actually fit, simply because he had the soprano voice to do so. As for Hater, he was just screaming and headbanging on the other side of the room, as if every song that played was from the heavy metal genre.

Needless to say, they all sounded pretty terrible, but none of them cared in the slightest. And, while their memories of that night were sure to be a bit fuzzy, it would still be a surprisingly really fun time together that they’d never (completely) forget.


End file.
